


Love Reign O'er Me

by Moxies_World09



Category: Kirk/Spock - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-26
Updated: 2014-12-04
Packaged: 2018-03-17 06:55:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 11
Words: 32,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3519644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moxies_World09/pseuds/Moxies_World09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Spock is injured during a Romulan attack he is forced to remain on Earth to recover from his injuries.  With a heavy heart Captain Kirk leaves him behind on earth with his Aunt from his mothers side to care for him. Things take a turn for the worst when Amanda's xenophobic brother comes into play and has his own agenda.</p><p>Written for missBAMF's challenge on ks archive. A sick and injured Spock Kirk saves the day.</p><p>And yes, named after the song that is the climax of The Who's phenomenal album Quadrophenia.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Let The Tide In

What few captains will admit is that behind every good captain is a good crew. A good crew is loyal to their captain and to their fleet. A good crew excels in their respective areas and have enviable bravery and dedication. A good crew can mean the difference between a successful mission and a miserable failure.

I've had the great fortune of having the finest crew in the fleet. My chief engineer was a great innovator and nothing shy of a miracle worker. The fact that me and my crew are alive and the Enterprise is still in one piece is a testament to that.

I was a better captain because of my First Officer Spock. He was credited as being the finest First Officer and the finest Science Officer in the fleet. Being a Vulcan his actions were dictated by logic. His logic dictated that the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few or the one. When he nearly got himself killed inside an active volcano to uphold the prime directive he proved that he was willing to live and die by those words.

Spock’s logic and intelligence were invaluable to me as captain and as his friend. I came to rely on him more than I like to admit. His ability to calculate odds and potential outcomes made him superior to every other officer who served under me.

As much as I respected Spock and as much confidence as I had in him I couldn’t help but second guess him. It might have been because of the outbursts he had in the early days or my own arrogance. I should never have doubted him.

We beamed down to an uncharted M class planet near the neutral zone. The planet’s terrain was rocky and mountainous and the weather was consistently cool and dry. Spock had determined with the scanners there was enough precipitation to support life so we began a search.

The landing party that beamed down included myself, Mr. Spock, and Ensign Chekov. We followed Spock’s tricorder readings into a system of caves and tunnels near one of the planet’s oceans. As we got deeper we discovered the tunnels were lit up by this eerie violet glow.

Spock scanned the tunnels and noted, “Fascinating, it appears that these tunnels are illuminated by a phosphorescent mineral that gives off this violet glow.”

I knelt down in front of a pile of black stones each of which gave off this strange lavender and turquoise sparkle. For no reason I decided to spin one of the stones. To my great surprise the stone began spinning until it hovered about ten inches off of the ground still spinning.

“Spock, check this out.”

Spock walked over to where I was and scanned the stones with the tricorder. I spun a couple more of the stones and discovered they would all hover a few inches off of the ground spinning in midair.

“Fascinating,” Spock noted. “The behavior of these stones may be related to the power source used by the life forms we are seeking.”

Spock and I ventured further into the caves while Chekov followed a lead that lead him closer to the surface. Spock was scanning the side of the cave when he announced, “Captain, I’ve found something.”

I examined what Spock had found. Spock continued, “It appears to be a type of writing similar to the cuneiform which was used in ancient Earth civilizations. From the appearance these creatures may be humanoid however are much smaller than humans.”

“Do you think we may run into one if we keep looking deeper into these caves?” I asked.

“I am not sure Captain. We should continue scanning. They may live hundreds of yards deeper.”

I pointed a flashlight into the part of the cave we had yet to venture into. It must have gone on for miles.

“Given the depth of these readings and the length of these tunnels it is very likely the species that occupies them may be highly photosensitive,” Spock explained.

“It would explain why they live so damn deep. They must have good night vision too given how deep these cave writings are and how dark it is down here.”

No sooner did I finish saying that I heard a loud thud come from up above. Spock heard it too because he looked at me strangely. I noted, “I think we’ve got company. Do you think it’s them?”

“Unlikely Captain. The sound seems to be emanating from above and the life signs are leading deeper.”

There was another thud only this time louder and it was quickly followed by another even louder thud. No sooner that we heard the second thud did Chekov come running down into the tunnel, terrified.

“Captain, Romulans!” Chekov shouted. “They will bury us alive.”

“Time to go,” I shouted. The three of us started running and I flipped open my communicator. “Scotty, beam us up quickly.”

“You’re too deep Captain. You’ll have to find shallow ground,” he replied. “The Enterprise is under attack from Romulans.”

“Romulans?” I didn’t have time to process what Scotty said, I just kept running.

We ran as fast as we could up the hundreds of feet of tunnels while the Romulan attacks grew louder and closer. Before long, we could feel the concussions of the explosions. I fumbled with my communicator as we neared a fork in the caves.

“Captain, if we turn left at this fork we’ll have a 65.6% chance of being in range for the transporter without the Romulans being able to pinpoint our location,” Spock explained.

“Turning right will get us out faster,” I replied. 

“Captain, the odds of the Romulans…”

“Not now Spock.” I turned right and the others followed closely behind. Before we could even see daylight the tunnel exploded next to us. The explosion pounded me and Spock against the wall of the cave. My head pounded on the rock wall causing spots to appear in my vision.

Spock calmly asked, “Are you all right Captain?”

“I’m okay we need to get out of here.”

Spock grabbed my upper arm as I struggled to my feet. We continued running as the explosions grew closer and the concussions from said explosions became more violent. Finally a blast collapsed the walls of the tunnel and threw Chekov and myself against the adjacent wall.

I collapsed into a pile on the floor. I struggled to stand up before looking at Chekov. “Are you all right?”

“I’m still standing Captain,” Chekov replied.

When I didn’t see Spock a sense of panic rushed through me. I shouted, “Where the hell is Spock?” No sooner did I say this I looked at the massive pile of rock from the collapsed wall with horror.

I darted to the pile of rocks and with my head pounding I began tearing at the rocks like a madman. I didn’t even notice Chekov next to me digging frantically. Before long we managed to unearth Spock’s face and shoulders at the bottom of the pile. A wave of panic shot through me.

With the weight of the rock off of him Spock managed to open his eyes, take in a breath, and gasp, “Jim.” He looked at me pleadingly.

I grabbed Spock’s shoulders and pulled as hard as I could freeing him. His uniform was shredded and bloodied from the blast. I pulled one of his arms over my shoulder and raised him to a standing position. He gripped me tightly. After dragging him a few feet I tore out my communicator and shouted, “Scotty get us the hell out of here. I need a medical team.”

“Aye Captain. I’ll have to lower the shields for a split second to beam you aboard.”

A rush of fear came over me as Scotty said that. The transporter beam enveloped us and in the wink of an eye we were in the transporter room with a stunned Scotty looking at us. Spock was unconscious by then and as soon as the beam deposited us he collapsed to the floor. As the medical team rushed to Spock I only managed a couple of steps before my head felt like it was exploding and everything went gray.

I woke up in medical bay not twenty minutes later. One of the nurses was standing over me cleaning a wound on my forehead. “Captain,” she whispered. “You have a concussion from the blast but other than that you’re going to be fine. The Romulan threat has been neutralized.”

“How many crewmen did we lose?” I gasped. My mouth was dry and my head pounded.

“None so far, but we’re trying to avoid that. We have several critically injured crewmen who’ll have to be on medical leave for a while. Sulu has us en route back to Earth.”

“Thank you. What about Spock and Chekov?”

“Chekov is just fine. He’s already been declared fit for duty.”

“What about Spock?”

She averted my gaze and stuttered, “Dr. McCoy will let you know as soon as we know anything.” She gave me an injection and explained, “This will get rid of the headache.”

I looked down at my hands and my uniform which were soaked with green blood. A great sense of guilt came over me. I had ignored Spock’s advice about the tunnels and now I had his blood on my hands.

Hours passed and the medical team ducked my gaze and sauntered away whenever I asked about Spock. Eventually Dr. McCoy came directly from the operating room looking worn.

“I’m amazed he’s even alive Jim,” Bones grumbled. “They’re still working on him. His Vulcan physiology poses a challenge for those who were trained on humans. On a better note he evaded any damage to his brain or spinal cord.”

“Is he going to live or not?” I rubbed my face.

“I don’t know yet Jim.” Bones looked me over concerned and explained. “You on the other hand are free to go. You’ll be off duty for 72 hours.”

“Spock.” I shook my head in distress.

Bones explained, “It’s still going to be hours before he’s out of surgery. Dr. M’Benga is working on him but I have to get back in there. Why don’t you go back to your quarters? Come back after a shower and a change of clothes.” With a reassuring smile he added, “Doctors orders.”

I took in a deep breath. “You’re right, Bones.” I trudged back to my quarters. Several of my crewmen looked at me stunned. As soon as I got back to my quarters I took off my green blood soaked shirt and looked it over before angrily flinging it into a corner.

I climbed into the shower and turned the water on to a near boil and let the water and steam encase me. I thought about the prospect of Spock not being around and broke down and cried. I washed myself until my skin was nearly raw to get the green blood off of me. As soon as I was clean I got dressed and returned to medical bay. By then it was nearly midnight.

Nervously I paced the corridors on the deck of the medical bay until I was summoned back by Dr. McCoy. I had never seen Bones look so tired and defeated. He groaned, “Spock’s alive for now Jim, but I don’t know how long we can keep him going.”

My head spun. “How bad is he?”

“The bomb nearly tore Spock to shreds. I’m amazed you found him in one piece. He was riddled with debris from the bomb some of which pierced his internal organs. Both of his lungs collapsed, he had massive amounts of internal bleeding.”

“Oh no,” I gasped. I covered my face with my hand.

“We’ve managed to get all of the debris out but Spock has a high fever which is the result of a systemic infection. If he’s going to survive he’s going to have to be treated in a hospital with specialists in Vulcans. Zefram Cochrane Medical Center has a Vulcan ward with an Intensive Care Unit.”

My heart dropped. I sighed, “You mean the Starfleet hospital in San Francisco?”

Bones nodded. “We should be back on Earth in the morning. We’ll have him transferred if he makes it that far.” Bones looked down with a look of sadness. “First things first Jim, Vulcans are always aware. Even a Vulcan in a coma knows everything that’s going on around them.”

I nodded in acknowledgement. I followed Bones through the dimly lit medical bay which was littered with the injured crewmen from the blast. Some of the injured crewmen had minor injuries while the most critically injured were behind closed curtains.

When Bones led me to Spock he was nearly lifeless and had numerous bruises and lacerations from the attack. It took several machines to keep him alive and I was stunned by how much gear could be attached to one person. I swallowed hard trying not to break down.

I pulled up a chair next to the bed and picked up Spock’s hand. I wiped a tear from my face. When Bones saw how uneasy I was he laid his hand on my shoulder. He suggested, “Why don’t you go back to your quarters? It’s very late.”

I shook my head and looked up at Bones. “You restricted me from duty for 72 hours anyway. I’m not leaving.”

Bones was clearly misty eyed as he sighed, “All right Jim, just try to keep a lid on it. The third shift staff will be around if you need anything. I’m going to bed.”

“Thank you Bones.” I nodded and Bones wiped a couple of tears out of his eyes as he partially closed the curtains. He sauntered away like he had just returned from war. I heard him try to muffle himself crying.

With Bones gone the only thing I could hear was the rhythmic hiss of the ventilator Spock relied on. Looking at how badly injured he was and how long he had been in the operating room I was forced to realize what a feat Bones had just accomplished as a surgeon.

Unable to sleep I stayed vigilant by Spock’s bed while the nightshift staff quietly fluttered around the darkened medical bay caring for the sick and injured crewmen. I did what I could to straighten out Spock’s hair and smooth out the wrinkles in the Starfleet issue hospital gown he was wearing. I found myself staring at the monitors endlessly hoping for some sign of recovery.


	2. With or Without You

I was awakened a few times during the night by the occasional bell from one of the monitors in the medical bay. I woke up the next morning to the sound of Bones’s southern drawl.

My back and neck ached from sleeping in a chair. When Bones came in to check on Spock he still looked worn from the previous day. He looked at me. “God Jim, you look like death.”

“Looks like I’m not the only one.” I groaned and rubbed my face.

“I didn’t know if he was going to make it this far. I’m relieved that he did.” I got up so I wouldn’t get in the way of Bones scanning Spock with the tricorder. He shook his head and gently pressed down on Spock’s stomach. “Damn it. Just like I suspected, he has another bleed.”

Panic shot through me. “What can you do?”

“We’ll be on Earth shortly so I’m alerting the team at Cochrane Medical Center. They’re going to beam up their paramedics and take him first. They’ll take him straight into an operating room. Until then I’m going to try to keep him stable.” One of the monitors sounded an alarm and Bones silenced it before injecting something into one of the lines.

I rubbed my face. “I have two weeks of shore leave. I’m going to take it once I’m released for duty. How long do you think he’s going to be on Earth?”

“I don’t know, Jim. That’s something you should ask a Vulcan specialist.” Bones walked away to tend to other patients.

I looked over Spock and had no idea what to say to him so I held his hand. By the time we arrived on Earth the monitors had sounded several times and Bones seemed to have difficulty keeping him stable.

After the paramedics came to take Spock to the hospital I went back to my quarters to shower and change into clean clothes. As soon as I packed a bag I had Scotty beam me down to the hospital.

In San Francisco it was raining hell and high water. Upon my arrival at Zefram Cochrane Medical Center I was informed that Spock was still in surgery. I nursed a bottle of water and nervously awaited word.

Once Spock was out of surgery one of the staff led me to the Intensive Care Unit of the Vulcan Ward. When I got there a couple of doctors were looking Spock over. One of them was a Vulcan, the other was human.

They looked at me as I walked into the room. The human greeted, “Good Morning. Captain Kirk, I presume.”

“You presume right.” I groaned. I found a chair and sat down. “How is he?”

“We stopped the bleeding but he has a systemic infection,” The human explained.

The Vulcan doctor shook his head. “Few humans survive systemic infections but even fewer Vulcans. Why did he not meld with someone lest he not survive his injuries?”

“He didn’t see it coming.” I looked Spock over and asked, “Don’t Vulcans have this ability to go into a trance to heal themselves?”

“A Vulcan healing trance yes,” the Vulcan doctor explained. “At this time his injuries are too severe for him to be able to heal himself using a trance. Also trances may be effective for traumatic injuries but they are ineffective for the severity of infection he has.”

My heart sank. “So what can you do?”

“We will have to treat the infection and its effects and keep him in Intensive Care. It will be very time consuming but it is the only course of action.”

Once the two of them were done with Spock they left. Since we were alone I got up, held Spock’s hand and said, “Spock, I’m so sorry. You said left, but I insisted on going right, and it was you who took the fall for it. I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

Ambassador Sarek arrived shortly afterward. When he saw me he greeted with a Vulcan salute. “Captain Kirk.”

I reciprocated the salute and stuttered, “Sarek, I’m so sorry. If I had…”

Sarek looked at me and said, “Kirk, you assume I am angry with you. You jeopardized yourself and your Ensign to save Spock. I am grateful. May I remind you that I lost Amanda during the destruction of Vulcan? My own logic fails where my son is concerned.”

“I understand Ambassador.”

“Are you on Earth because the Enterprise is in need of repairs?”

“I’ve been restricted from duty for the next three days. After that I’m going to take two weeks of shore leave so I can be here. I’m not leaving him.”

Sarek paused. “I am going to spend today here but tonight I am going to return to New Vulcan to assist with the rebuild.”

“Why would you leave when he’s like this? It makes no sense.”

“I am not a doctor and there is nothing I can do. As much as I am inclined to stay here my responsibilities on New Vulcan require my presence. I know that Spock has chosen his allies well and I trust you with these matters. I do not believe you would fail him nor do I believe Starfleet or their medical facility would.”

Astonished I gasped, “Sarek, he’s your son.”

“I am aware of this. I also have thousands of people of an endangered race I am responsible for on New Vulcan.”

I was prepared to argue with Sarek but I stood down thinking that my energy was better served elsewhere. Sarek approached Spock’s bedside and put his hand on Spock’s face on the psi points.

After Sarek completed the mind meld he looked at me strangely and raised an eyebrow. He sat down in one of the other chairs and while I slouched, Sarek sat tall. He showed signs of muted sadness before he went into a meditative state in an obvious attempt to control his emotions.

I was so worn out from the Romulan attack I didn’t get out of my chair much. Sarek on the other hand, stood at the end of the bed when he wasn’t in one of his meditative states. I could tell he was hiding feelings of concern and sadness.

“Sarek, I know Amanda was from Earth. Does she have any family here?” I asked.

“Amanda has a sister and a brother who are living on Earth. Her sister, Ashley and her husband Jeffrey Peck currently live in Eastern Connecticut. I am not sure of the whereabouts of Amanda’s brother. He has a remarkable disdain for non-terrestrials.”

I sighed. “I’m sorry.

When the afternoon turned into evening Sarek planned on returning to New Vulcan. As he was preparing to leave I argued, “Ambassador, think about what you’re doing. You can’t leave when he’s like this.”

“Captain, your tendency toward flagrant emotion is most pronounced. I regret being required elsewhere but I have responsibilities that are larger than me or my son.”

My head spun.

“Amanda’s sister is making arrangements to be here.” Sarek looked at me like he was covering up a sense of confidence. “I also trust your judgment and dedication. If I may reiterate what I said earlier I do not think you would fail him.”

“You would trust me with his life when he could die at any given time?”

“I trust you with his life every day he serves you aboard the Enterprise. Spock is,” Sarek swallowed hard. “Very fond of you. I have been made certain he would prefer to have you remain with him. I respect your decision and am grateful for your dedication.”

“Thank you Ambassador.”

Sarek gave me the Vulcan salute and I returned it. With that Sarek was gone. Although he tried to walk tall and hide his emotion I could tell he had made a heavy hearted decision. I couldn’t help but be disappointed that he left.

I looked at Spock and noted, “Your Dad sure is a piece of work. But you know what, he was here even if only briefly.”

Knowing Spock was aware of my presence I refused to leave the room. I did a lot of pacing and cursing myself. I did what I could to keep Spock reassured but it was difficult seeing how medically fragile he was.

Eventually I sat down and looked out the window to the view of San Francisco. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d heard the rain or seen a view of a city. It contributed to this strange cadence which you wouldn’t expect to find in a hospital.

The rain let up and the bay sparkled with the city lights and night sky. The city came to life and breathed with art, culture and music. Had the circumstances been different Spock and I could have enjoyed ourselves in this city.

I fell asleep but it wasn’t very long before I was awakened when Spock’s vital signs fell to zero setting off the alarms. A team of lab coats swarmed the room and worked at breakneck speed trying to bring him back. One of the nurses led me out. I sat on the waiting room floor paralyzed awaiting the next word. Every minute passed by like days and bullets of sweat poured off of me.

After nearly forty minutes the doctor informed me that Spock was alive but he wasn’t doing well. I returned to Spock’s bedside and laid my head on his chest. I was exhausted but too anxious to fall back to sleep. I sat alone in the dark with Spock holding his bruised hands and stroking his face and pointed ears.

It wasn’t until mid-morning I wore myself out and fell asleep. I slept well into the evening but I didn’t feel rested at all.

As the day progressed Spock showed no traces of recovery. It was hard enough to have to see him as badly injured as this but with every hour that passed with no sign of improvement the hopes I had of Spock recovering dwindled.

Over the next couple of days I never left the room except to shower. I hung on to any faint suggestion that Spock was recovering. Eventually I lost myself in the Vulcan Intensive Care Unit. It was a sea of pointed ears and green blood transfusions with a calm that was the trademark of Vulcans.

On the evening of day four a familiar middle aged woman with gray hair arrived. When she saw me she smiled, “Captain Kirk, I’m Ashley Grayson Peck.” She forced a smile.

“You’re his Aunt.” I smiled back. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“Thank you, I came out here from Connecticut after I heard from Sarek.” She looked Spock over briefly before she covered her mouth in distress. Her eyes flooded with tears and before she could break down she left the room.

No sooner had Ashley walked out Bones walked in. His eyes followed Ashley as she left the room before he quietly greeted, “Evening Jim.”

“It’s good to see you Bones. Is there anything you can tell me?”

“Why don’t you come with me as soon as his Aunt comes back?”

I nodded. When Ashley returned Bones explained, “We’ll be right back.” Reluctantly I followed Bones out of the Vulcan Ward to a veranda that overlooked the city. I looked at him and asked, “What can you tell me Bones?”

“Spock has a systemic infection that’s causing all of his organs to shut down. I’ve seen patients like this before. Spock could take months to go back to normal if he survives at all.”

I let out a defeated sigh and shook my head.

“I’ve been informed Spock ‘died’ once a couple of nights ago but you appear to have died a thousand times since the last time I saw you. Have you been sleeping?”

“Not really. I’ve had a hard time letting my guard down since Spock nearly died shortly after I fell asleep the first night.”

Bones looked at me knowingly and explained, “Scotty and Uhura are at a pub across the street. Why don’t we join them? I’m willing to bet you haven’t been eating.”

“I haven’t been able to. I’m not sure if I should…”

“Come on Jim. Spock is stable for now and Ashley is with him. He’ll be safe with her and she’ll let us know about any change.”

I relented and followed Bones to a pub down the street from the hospital. Bones could have gotten me to leave the hospital but he certainly couldn’t get me to stop thinking about Spock. I worried to no end about how he was in my absence.

Scotty and Uhura were seated at a table against a back wall. A martini glass sat in front of Uhura while Scotty clutched a glass of scotch. I swallowed hard and tried to hold it together hoping to maintain some decorum in front of my own officers.

“Good evening,” Scotty greeted. “It’s good to see you.”

I nodded, “Good to see you guys.” I forced a smile.

Uhura looked at me, concerned. “How is Spock?”

“It’s still not clear if he’s going to live or not. I’ve just been keeping him company.”

“You’re doing the very best anyone can do by him,” Bones reassured me. “Good friends are invaluable.”

Uhura laid her hand on my wrist. “He’s in good hands right now.”

“I’ve been able to see how capable they are. I know they’re busting their asses trying to pull Spock through but it’s very hard seeing him like that. His Aunt had to leave the room.” I paused and rubbed my face. “Strangely, I feel a little better when I’m with him.”

“Probably because you can see for yourself nothing bad is happening,” Scotty added. “You’re a true friend to him, Captain.”

Uhura looked at me knowingly and speculated, “I think you love him.”

I looked at her surprised. “I couldn’t have asked for a better First Officer or a better Science Officer. Or a better friend. I think you could say that I do.”

Scotty, Bones and Uhura looked at me like I was hiding something. The waiter came around so I ordered food. Scotty explained the repairs he was making to the Enterprise. They all shared memories of Spock and all the things he was known for aboard the ship.

As the evening progressed I thought long and hard and came to realize that I was in love with Spock. The idea that I had almost gotten him killed was unbearable. I lamented, “Admiral Pike told me that as Captain of a starship you’re responsible for every life aboard your ship. The life you lose may not be your own. Had I listened to Spock we’d have evaded the Romulans.”

“If there’s one thing you can be sure of Jim, you’re no good to Spock if you keep beating yourself up. You can’t undo what’s done,” Bones explained.

From another corner of the pub, played the centuries old song “With or Without You.” I wasn’t that familiar with the song but upon hearing the mournful song I filled with regret. My eyes flooded with tears. “If you all don’t mind I’d like to head back.”

Everyone at the table nodded in agreement. After I’d paid my tab I walked back to the hospital. By then it was pouring and I walked slowly although I was getting soaked. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d felt the rain.

When I got back Spock’s Aunt was asleep on the sofa in the waiting room with a blanket up to her elbows. She appeared to shiver slightly so I pulled the blanket up to her shoulders.

Once I went back into the room I pulled off my soaked coat and tried to brush the water out of my hair. I looked over Spock. I picked up one of his hands and explained, “Our entire crew is concerned about you. Honestly Spock, I don’t know what I would do without you.”

I regretted I didn’t realize that I was in love with Spock until now that I was facing losing him. I stroked his hair and gently kissed his face before I rested my cheek on his forehead.

Over the next few days Spock remained unconscious. Our crewmen were frequent visitors. I continually worried knowing that I would be due back on the Enterprise at the end of my shore leave.

Nothing angered me more than when someone suggested that I shouldn’t worry about Spock because he wasn’t scared, he didn’t feel fear. It’s a common misconception that Vulcans can’t or don’t feel emotions. I know this is not true. Vulcans nearly tore themselves apart until as a species they made the decision to purge any and all emotion lest they destroy themselves.

Although Spock tried to hide it I knew how emotional he was. I saw his devastation when his home world was destroyed. I saw his terror and anguish when he was outside of the engine compartment watching me die. The look of vindication and relief when I woke up in medical bay after having been revived by the blood of a superman.

If Spock was capable of this wide range of emotions and Vulcans are aware even when unconscious did it stand to reason he was terrified while near death in Intensive Care? I refused to believe he wasn’t and I chose to stay hoping my presence gave him some comfort.

I spent twelve days after the Romulan attack hanging on to every word from the Doctors. On the twelfth day I was looking out the window at the bay when one of the monitors sounded an alarm. Terrified I turned around to see Spock was awake and had inadvertently disconnected one of the monitors.

“Spock,” I gasped. I darted to his side and placed my hands on his shoulders. “Take it easy. You were injured badly in the Romulan attack.”

Spock met eyes with me. He seemed disoriented and his eyes were green bloodshot. I stroked his hair and continued, “Bones couldn’t treat you aboard the Enterprise so we had to take you to San Francisco.”

Spock was unable to speak due to the tube in his throat but he looked at me pleadingly. He grimaced like he was in a lot of pain. I held his hand and tried to reassure him. One of the nurses walked in, and after reconnecting the lead that Spock disconnected she injected something into one of the lines. I called Bones and Ashley and let them know he was awake.

At first Spock seemed agitated but gradually he became more at ease. I had a feeling of resolve and vindication. It proved to be fleeting because shortly afterward I was reminded that I was due back on the Enterprise in five days.

I didn’t say anything to Spock about having to report back for duty but over the next few days but Ashley noticed how uneasy I was. I stood at Spock’s bedside looking him over anticipating having to leave him behind.

“James, is there something bothering you that you’d like to talk about?” She asked.

“I have to report back to the Enterprise in two days.” I paused. “I’ve been trying to think of ways I could stay once my shore leave runs out. From what’s been explained to me he’s going to be incapacitated for months.”

Ashley frowned. “I’m still mourning Amanda. I have no idea what I would have done if I had lost Spock as well. I’m going to stay with him until he’s fit to return to duty.”

“I’ve considered having him taken back to the Enterprise and having Dr. McCoy continue his current course of treatment.”

Ashley shook her head. “He won’t be well enough even to be discharged from Intensive Care by the time the Enterprise departs.”

I covered my face with my hand. “I’m having a hard time even thinking about leaving without him. I’ve never actually commanded a Starship without him.”

She looked at me knowingly. “I think the reason you want to be here has nothing to do with the Enterprise or with Starfleet. I think you love him.”

I didn’t say anything. She put her hand on my shoulder and said, “James, I assure you. He’ll be safe here. I’ll keep in close contact with you.”

I bit my knuckle. “He won’t be too much trouble?”

“I would do anything for him. I’m eternally grateful that you saved him.”

Shortly afterward Ashley went down to the cafeteria so she could have dinner. Outside the rain drummed on the streets and sidewalks. I sat in the window and tried to prepare myself for what was to come.

Spock looked at me intently and gestured me to approach him and I did so. He signaled me to come closer until I leaned close to him. Unable to speak because of the tubes he managed to reach up and put his weak hand on my face. His placed his fingers on the psi points as his older self had done years ago.

Like a shot of lightning I felt Spock’s mind linked to mine and I was flooded with feelings of terror and confusion along with a cold feeling like I was slipping away. I could hear his voice inside my head. ‘Jim.’

‘Spock. Why am I so cold?’

‘It is not my intention but during a mind meld you can feel how I am and right now I am near death. I know you are due aboard the Enterprise in two days.’

‘I’m trying to find out if I can stay longer. I don’t want to leave you when you’re like this.’

‘I know Jim. Logic dictates that the needs of the many outweigh.’

‘The needs of the few.’

‘Or the one. Right now there are 430 people whose lives depend on your command abilities. You must return to the Enterprise.’

‘You’re right. Are you going to be okay?’

“I do not know but I am trying to hold on.’

‘Spock, I’m so sorry. If I’d listened to you we’d have skirted the attack. You wouldn’t have been hurt.’

‘It is not your fault, Jim. Do not be too hard on yourself.’

The mind link was broken when I was distracted by Ashley walking back into the room. I looked at her and explained, “I’m returning to duty as soon as my shore leave is over but mark my words I’ll be back for Spock as soon as he’s well enough.”

Ashley smiled. “You’ll be hearing from me.”

I spent the next three days with Spock and also talking to his doctors about his condition and when I could expect him to be fit for duty. In the meantime Scotty had completed three weeks’ worth of repairs in ten days and we would be departing as soon as my shore leave ended.

When the time finally came for me to return to the Enterprise I held Spock’s hand and said, “I’m coming back as soon as you’re better.” I got on my communicator and said, “Energize.”


	3. The Nights We Spent Apart Alone

The transporter beam enveloped me and I was back on the Enterprise. I didn’t waste a second to report back to the bridge. With Spock absent I assigned Chekov as temporary Science Officer although he was reluctant to occupy Spock’s chair.

We returned to the mission we were on before the Romulan attack. I fielded a lot of questions about Spock from the crewmen. Although I put on a good face for my crew, I felt a sting every time I looked at Spock’s chair and didn’t see pointed ears.

After my duties on the bridge were done I went to the rec room to relax a little bit. All of the crewmen in the rec room became very composed when I was present. I sat alone at a table nursing a single drink until Bones showed up.

Bones approached the table. “May I join you?”

I gestured toward the other chair. “Of course.”

Bones got himself a glass of brandy and noted, “I know when you’ve got something on your mind. You look like a beat dog.”

I shook my head. “I’m just concerned about Spock. I know Zefram Cochrane Medical Center is one of the best hospitals around and I know his injuries were more than you’re equipped to handle in medical bay…”

“But it just sucks because he belongs aboard the Enterprise. Jim, if I could have kept him in medical bay, I would have.”

“Bones, I know you would have. I’m not blaming you for his absence.” I paused and looked down at my drink. “If anything you and Dr. M’Benga are responsible for him being alive right now.”

“I got to tell you Jim, when I think back on it I have no idea how Dr. M’Benga and I even managed to save him.”

“You both have certainly proven yourselves as surgeons,” I paused. “After you went back to your quarters I kept looking at him, thinking of what it must have taken to save him. You were in there for eleven hours.”

“After we closed him up Dr. M’Benga really wasn’t optimistic he would live another three hours but he pressed on. I’m starting to think maybe I’ve underestimated him. Spock certainly can take a pounding, even for a Vulcan.”

“From what I understand about Vulcan physiology Vulcans are pretty tough.”

“Even Vulcans have a limit on what they can take. I’ll let you in on something, once Spock was back in medical bay just before I went to get you I told him, ‘I didn’t go through all that to watch you die. Hang in there any way you can.’”

I smiled. “I swear to God. As soon as he’s back on his feet we’re going back for him.”

“He’s the finest First Officer in Starfleet,” Bones smiled. “I’m glad we pulled him through.”

One of the slightly tipsy crewmen who was sitting in the rec room looked over at us and remarked, “I understand the hobgoblin is going to pull through.”

I was stricken with anger but before I had a chance to react Bones shouted angrily, “That hobgoblin is second in command of this ship and he’s your commanding officer. You will show him respect or you will certainly face disciplinary action.”

The crewman looked stunned. Daunted by Bones’s reaction I added, “Consider this your verbal warning. Next time you’ll be written up.”

Embarrassed, he got up and timidly walked away. Bones turned to me and noted, “Maybe for now we should just prepare for his return.”

“I agree.”

Afterward Bones and I returned to our respective quarters. Since Spock would be absent for a while I took it upon myself to clean his quarters only to discover they were already military clean. Spock’s uniforms neatly hung in his closet with the exception of a single empty hanger. I cringed knowing it was from the uniform he was wearing the day of the attack.

Ashley was vigilant about keeping me informed about Spock’s condition. Nearly a month and a half after the attack, he was able to breathe on his own again.

A few weeks later I was summoned to Starfleet headquarters in San Francisco to attend a meeting. After the meeting adjourned I decided to visit Spock before I beamed back aboard. When I arrived at Zefram Cochrane Medical Center I headed toward the Vulcan Intensive Care Unit only to run into Ashley in the hallway.

“James,” she smiled. “What are you doing here? I thought you’d be in deep space.”

“I had a meeting at headquarters. I figured I’d drop in while I’m here. How is Spock?”

“Spock is doing better. They transferred him to the Vulcan ward this afternoon. He’s been off the ventilator for two weeks and his blood oxygen levels are holding.” I followed Ashley to the Vulcan ward. “They’re trying to get him past the after effects of the systemic infection.”

“That’s good to hear,” I sighed.

“The Doctor discussed transferring him to The McAuliffe Rehabilitation Center once he’s well enough but it’ll be a while. He’s going to need a lot of physical therapy.”

“Being hit by a bomb really does it to you.”

“Not only that but he’s lost a lot of muscle from being in bed for so long. It’ll be a while before he can return to duty.”

Once we were outside Spock’s room I smiled warmly to reassure her. “We’re all looking forward to having him back.”

I stepped into the room slowly afraid I might startle Spock. He was asleep with a tan knitted blanket up to his ribs. He was wearing a hospital gown that fit like a bed sheet. Although he was off the ventilator he was pale and had just as many lines in him as before.

A middle aged man in a plaid shirt and jeans sat next to him. Ashley began, “James, I don’t think you’ve met my husband.”

He stood up and shook my hand, “I’m Jeffrey Peck. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“It’s a pleasure.” I shook his hand before I turned my attention to Spock.

Jeff tapped Spock’s arm and gently explained, “Hey Spock, someone’s here to see you.”

Spock grimaced, stirred slightly and swallowed. He opened his eyes and looked at me. “Jim,” he gasped. His voice was raspy.

“Hey.” I smiled.

“For what reason are you on Earth?”

“I had a meeting at headquarters. I don’t have very long but I wanted to check on you. It’s good to see you’re doing better.”

“Thank you Captain. May I inquire about the crew of the Enterprise?”

“Everyone is concerned about you. We’re all looking forward to having you back.”

“And the ship?”

“Scotty got the repairs from the Romulan attack done in two weeks. She’s back in all her glory and we’re back to these science missions. We haven’t found anything interesting though.”

“Deep space is always interesting if you approach it with peaked interest.”

“You’re right. Science missions aren’t the same without our chief science officer.” I smiled. Seeing that Spock was fighting sleep, I turned to Ashley. “Is he all right?”

“The Doctor said its normal given what he’s been through,” Ashley explained. “She also said if he’s this tired maybe it’s best to let him sleep.”

“He’s also been getting poked and prodded more than his share since he’s a rare case of a Vulcan who survived a systemic infection,” Jeff added. “An exodus of students have been through here.”

“I must admit I am nostalgic for Dr. McCoy’s beads and rattles,” Spock added.

“You’ll be back aboard soon enough,” I replied. “As soon as you’re on your feet I’ll drop what I’m doing to come and get you.”

Spock nodded. “I appreciate it Captain.”

Ashley interrupted, “If you guys don’t mind, it’s late and I’m going to take a shower now.”

I looked at the clock to see it was ten past eight. “I should get back myself,” I turned to Spock and picked up his hand. “I’ll be back as soon as you’re declared fit for duty.”

“I trust you will,” Spock replied.

Ashley and Jeff smiled at me and said goodbye before I got on my communicator and said, “Energize.”

After another two months passed I stopped hearing from Ashley. I assumed if Spock had deteriorated she’d let me know. When weeks went by with no word from her I tried calling her and Jeff only to get no answer or return. I called Zefram Cochrane Medical Center only to find out Spock had been discharged. Upon hearing from Sarek, I found out he didn’t know either.

After nearly two and half months of nothing I received a call from Ashley. When I answered she was delirious with tears, “James, I’ve lost track of Spock. Shortly after you left, Jeff and I came down with Tholian Flu and couldn’t care for him.”

“Any idea what happened.”

“My brother had something to do with this, I know it. He and his family are xenophobic and he blames Spock for what happened to Amanda. He won’t tell me anything and I haven’t been able to track Spock down.”

I was crushed. “I’m going to contact Starfleet. A missing Starfleet officer is not something we take lightly.”

“James please, I just lost my sister. If anything happened to Spock…” She trailed off.

“I swear to God, I will find him if I have to turn the whole damn planet upside down.” As soon as Ashley was off the phone I notified Starfleet of the situation. At my request we were assigned the task of locating Spock ourselves.

Upon our arrival at Earth, a team of myself, Dr. McCoy and Scotty beamed down to San Francisco. We began an exhaustive search for Spock’s whereabouts. Scotty discovered that after he was discharged from Zefram Cochrane Medical Center he was transferred to Christa McAuliffe Rehabilitation Center. He was signed out by a civilian but the name turned out to be false.

After several days our efforts had turned up no leads about Spock’s whereabouts. We couldn’t locate his uncle’s family to question them so we convened aboard the Enterprise in the conference room.

I explained, “It’s been days and currently we have no leads on Spock’s whereabouts. All we know is that Cochrane Medical Center transferred him to The McAuliffe Center from where he was signed out by someone using a pseudonym. Bones, what is your assessment?”

“Given Spock’s medical record when he was signed out of The McAuliffe Center he was still physically incapacitated,” Bones explained. “In his present condition he’s unable to care for himself.”

Bones’s words cut right through me but I held it together and turned to Scotty.

“I haven’t been able to locate him using the ship’s scanners. I’ve searched the entire cities of San Francisco and Los Angeles where the rehab is but he’s not there,” Scotty explained. “I even searched the hometown of his lousy uncle. Nothing.”

“So all we can tell is right now Spock is so physically incapacitated he requires nursing care and we can’t locate him,” I concluded.

“I have a suggestion Jim, but it’s a long shot,” Bones chimed in.

“Let’s have it, Bones.”

“In all my time in the medical field if there’s one thing I’ve found out about medical records it’s that the most accurate records are billing records.”

I looked at him quizzically.

“Like all of us, Spock had insurance through Starfleet. If he’s somewhere being provided with nursing care, then Starfleet is being billed for it.”

“Bones, you’re a genius.”

The four of us returned to the bridge where Lt. Uhura contacted Starfleet requesting a copy of Spock’s insurance records. As soon as we received them Dr. McCoy combed through them thoroughly before returning to the bridge.

As soon as I saw him I asked, “What have you got for me Bones?”

“I went through these records thoroughly and found Starfleet is receiving a bill for Spock’s care. Spock isn’t in San Francisco or Los Angeles, he’s in Barstow.”

“Barstow?” I was puzzled. “Has anyone contacted this facility?”

“I’ve tried but they refuse to cooperate. However, nothing would stop us from just walking in there and searching for him.”

“I’ll have Scotty beam us down. Maybe once we get there we can find out how the hell he ended up in Barstow.”

Scotty beamed down myself and Dr. McCoy. He managed to beam us down into the facility into an empty hallway. We split up and quietly searched the building trying carefully not to draw attention from the staff.

The facility was dreary and in a state of disrepair. I went room to room searching for anyone who looked like Spock. My heart raced as I kept finding nothing. Sadly two of the patients were already dead, one of which was a Klingon in an early state of decomposition.

“Jim, I found him,” Dr. McCoy whispered quietly and urgently through the communicator.

“Bones, where are you?”

“End of the west corridor. Come quickly, you need to see this.”

I ran to the end of the West corridor. I found Bones and Spock in the very last room of the west corridor farthest away from the nurses’ station. Bones looked up at me, pale with horror and explained, “I found him like this, Jim.”

Spock was lying on his side in the bed with his back to the door wearing nothing except a dirty hospital gown. He was emaciated and covered in burns with his wrists tied together in front of him.

I rushed to his side and touched his face. “Spock,” I whispered gently.

Spock opened his eyes and looked at me. He lit up like a firework and gasped in disbelief, “Jim.”

“What the hell have they been doing to you?” I untied him as quickly as I could. His wrists had numerous ligature bruises in various stages of dissipation. Spock’s hair had grown and appeared like it hadn’t been brushed in a while.

Spock looked at me pleadingly. Trembling he managed to gasp, “Jim, they have been torturing me.”

“We’re going to get you out of here.”

Bones scanned Spock with the tricorder and explained, “He has chemical and electrical burns. Jim, we have to contact the authorities.”

“We can find out once we’re on board the Enterprise.” I put one arm under Spock’s shoulders and the other under his legs and lifted him off of the bed. Spock held onto me like he was holding on for life.

Bones pounded his communicator and said, “Scotty, three to beam up.” The transporter beam whisked us back aboard the Enterprise. Bones looked at me, “Get him to medical bay.”

Bones and I ran to the medical bay, me with Spock in my arms. As soon as we arrived I put Spock down in one of the beds and the medical team flocked to him. I stood near the head of the bed and Spock reached up and clutched my hand.

“Jim, it was my uncle and my cousins.” Spock looked terrified and exhausted.

“We’ll debrief you once we dress these wounds,” Bones chimed in.

“I would prefer the Captain be present,” Spock replied.

I nodded. “I’ll be here.”

Bones and several of the nurses worked like madmen to get Spock cleaned up and bandage the burns that covered his body. Spock flinched when they cleaned some of the burns but he tried to cover up any signs he was in pain.

“Spock, I’m going to the bridge so I can have Uhura contact the authorities about what’s been done to you,” I explained gently. “I’ll be back as soon as we’ve gotten through to the proper authorities.”

Spock nodded. I went back to the bridge and Uhura contacted Starfleet about what had been done to Spock. They informed us they would contact the authorities.

When I came back Spock was in bed having been changed into a Starfleet issue hospital gown. Christine covered him with a blanket and tried to make him comfortable. Both of his arms were bandaged from the wrist to the shoulder and he looked like he hadn’t slept in weeks.

Before I could approach Spock, Bones whispered in my ear, “Jim, I don’t know what the hell has been happening to him, but in addition to the burns he’s been sexually abused and starved half to death. He weighs roughly sixty percent what he weighed during his last physical.”

“My God,” I gasped and rubbed my face in distress. “Other than that how is he?”

“Spock should have been in physical therapy two months ago but he wasn’t. He hasn’t so much as sat up, let alone put his feet to the floor since before he had a bomb dropped on him. His muscles are atrophied into nothing, he has mild pneumonia and there’s reason to believe he’s psychologically damaged.”

My stomach turned violently. “All right, the detective should be here shortly.”

“Hopefully this won’t go unpunished. I wouldn’t wish this on anybody.”

I looked at Spock barely able to process what Bones had told me. I approached him slowly so I wouldn’t startle him. He laid flat in bed with his eyes fixated on the ceiling. His cheeks had hollowed out and he was pale even for a Vulcan. I looked down at him. “It’s good to have you back on the Enterprise. We’ve all missed you.”

Spock rolled his head in my direction. “It is pleasing to see you.”

Bones afdded, “It’s sentimental but I’ve missed you. If anything I’ve missed banging heads with you.”

“Illogical, our heads have never made contact in such a way.”

“Same old Spock.”

“Spock, the state police are on their way. They’re going to want a deposition from you about what happened.”

Bones turned to me, “Lt. Uhura put the state police through to medical bay. The detective said I could take a deposition from Spock myself provided a Starfleet Senior officer were present.”

“I guess that would qualify me.” I nodded.

I sat down in a chair next to Spock and he held my hand while Bones cordoned off the area of the medical bay around him. Bones and Christine gathered in the room. Christine set up a recording device while Bones stood on the opposite side of the bed as me.

Spock looked at Bones and asked, “Where would you like to begin?”

“Why don’t you begin with what happened when you were discharged from Zefram Cochrane Medical Center?”

Spock paused, “After a five month hospitalization I was transferred from Zefram Cochrane Medical Center to Christa McAuliffe Rehabilitation Center. By the time I was discharged from the hospital my Aunt Ashley and Uncle Jeff had contracted Tholian Flu and were not allowed into the hospital.” Spock closed his eyes.

Bones and Christine looked at Spock concerned while I held his hand.

Spock continued, “My uncle and his family are highly xenophobic and disapproved of my Mother’s decision to marry and produce a child with a Vulcan. After I was transferred to the McAuliffe Center he used a pseudonym to sign me out."

“What happened from there?”

“I was taken to the facility in Barstow which is owned by his wife’s family. The facility is in squalid condition. Their sons were employed there and share their parents’ xenophobia. I was left for days without care or sustenance. I was left unbathed for days into weeks at a time. When they became bothered my Uncle would assist one of my cousins in washing me with bleach.”

“Was that the cause of the chemical burns you have?”

“Affirmative. On the third day my cousin cut me with a kitchen knife to confirm that I would bleed green. He later attached electrodes to me and electrocuted me. He would often do so in the middle of the night when I was unprepared. They increased the current to test what I could and could not tolerate. It resulted in seizures and unconsciousness. On seven occasions my oldest cousin submerged me in water which was thirty three degrees Fahrenheit.”

“The lacerations. In your groin area. How did you get those?”

“When my cousins decided to cut me they were strategic in their choice of location. Their intent was to inflict as much pain as possible. I found that they enjoyed inflicting pain.”

“What happened to your wrists Spock?” Bones asked.

“When I found myself able to reach up I managed to subdue my Uncle with a Vulcan neck pinch. Afterward he decided to keep me restrained. He kept my wrists tied together.”

Bones and Christine had tears streaming down their shocked faces. I was so furious I couldn’t see straight. Christine shook her head in distress and left the room. I felt physically sick imagining what Spock had been through. “Spock, I’m so sorry,” I gasped.

Bones asked, “Are you in any pain?”

“Aside from the burns I have some joint pain and stiffness. I have also been very tired.”

“It’s because you’re severely underweight, your muscles have wasted away and you’ve been tied down for months. You’re going to need extensive physical therapy.”

Christine stepped in. “Doctor, Captain, the detective is here.”

I walked out into the medical bay where a tall woman in a business suit stood with several police officers. “Hello, I’m Detective Dotson from the California State Police. We received a call from Starfleet about the abduction of your First Officer.”

“I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise.” I shook her hand. “My First Officer Mr. Spock was abducted and held captive in a nursing facility by his uncle. During that time he was abused. We recovered him ourselves a few hours ago.”

“All right, did you retrieve him alone or were there others with you?”

“It was just myself and my Chief Medical Officer, Dr. Leonard McCoy. Noone else.”

“All right, I’m going to need sworn depositions from you and Dr. McCoy along with copies of the readings on Mr. Spock’s injuries from the medical tricorders. I’m also going to need pictures of his injuries. One of the officers can take your deposition. I’m going to speak with Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy myself.”

I nodded in agreement and led one of the officers to the Enterprise conference room. I got sick thinking she had to take pictures of the burns, cuts and bruises Spock had suffered.

Once we were in the Enterprise conference room the officer set up a recording device to take my deposition. I explained everything that happened to Spock after the Romulan attack. I told him about the conditions of the facility and its patients including the dead Klingon. I relayed in detail what Spock looked like when we found him.

After I had explained everything that had happened and everything I’d seen to the officer I went back to medical bay. By then the detective and the officers were done with Spock so I sat down next to him. Seconds later Bones walked in.

I glanced up at Bones, “What’s the plan now?”

“I’m going to keep him in medical bay. I informed Starfleet we’re keeping him on board due to extenuating circumstances.” Bones turned to Spock. “Right now we need to treat your pneumonia and get you back on your feet.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Spock nodded. He shrugged and added, “It is unfortunate that my uncle harbors such ill will.”

“Ill will is an understatement,” Bones replied. “Spock, this man is a sadist.”

Spock looked at Bones strangely. “I fail to understand why a sentient organism would enjoy hurting another sentient being. It is illogical. For a species to prevail they must survive.”

“You’re right Spock, it isn’t logical at all. As doctors we’re still trying to figure out why people like that do the things they do. Maybe one day we can at least know what their tendencies are before they act upon them.” Bones paused, “You should get some rest.”

As soon as Bones walked out I explained, “I’m sure your Aunt Ashley and Uncle Jeff going to be glad to hear we found you.”

“I would like to inquire about their health. The last I was notified Ashley and Jeff contracted Tholian Flu.”

“They’re good. They recovered from Tholian Flu just fine. When she discovered you had gone missing she called me crying. We returned to track you down. I’m sorry it took so long.”

“May I inquire as to how exactly you located me?”

“It was Bones actually. Bones used your insurance records to track you down.”

“It was certainly clever of Dr. McCoy. It is safe to assume my Uncle didn’t think my insurance records would lead to them.”

“That facility was a house of horrors.” I paused. “Seeing what he’s done to you, he and his family are a pack of savages. I’d kill him myself if I could get my hands on him.”

“That would be illogical Captain. Were you to murder my uncle you would certainly face prosecution. The Enterprise would lose her captain.”

“You are most logical Spock.” I looked at the bandages on his arms. “Is there any way you can go into a trance to heal yourself?”

“I have tried to but I have found I have been having difficulty keeping my concentration long enough. I may try to do so again now that I am back aboard the Enterprise. If I can these burns will heal sooner.”

“I’d like to get you back on your feet as soon as possible.”

“That is going to take some time Captain.”

“We’re on a five year mission. I have plenty of time.”

Spock looked me in the eyes like he’d made a realization. “Thank you Captain.”

“Spock, I’m not trying to cut things short but I have to get back to the bridge.”

“Of course, Captain. In your absence I am going to attempt a healing trance. These burns may heal faster.”

“Take your time Spock. I’ll be back at the end of my shift.”

When I returned to the bridge the crew members on the bridge didn’t hesitate to ask about Spock. To respect his privacy I didn’t relay anything about the abuse he had suffered. I did inform them that he hadn’t fully recovered from the Romulan attack.

“Captain, how long will it be before Mr. Spock returns to his duties?” Chekov asked.

“I’m not sure. It depends on how quickly he recovers. Are you anxious to get back to your navigator position?” I asked.

“It’s not that, Captain. I am looking forward to having Mr. Spock back.” Chekov smiled widely.

I smiled back at Chekov, but I was furious over what Spock had been through. I put on a good face for the crew and awaited Spock’s recovery from the burns.


	4. A Million Miles Away

The Enterprise crew resumed the scientific mission we were diverted from when we were assigned the task of locating Spock. We returned to investigation of a recently discovered M-class planet with a primitive indigenous species.

I checked back on Spock whenever I could. He remained in a healing trance for days and I made sure not to distract him. After five days I was summoned to medical bay by Dr. McCoy.

When I arrived at the medical bay Bones explained, “The burns healed but it’s going to take longer for him to get back on his feet.”

“How long do you think it’s going to be?”

“I can’t be sure but we should get him moving as soon as possible. He’s in need of extensive physical therapy. I may have the nurse try to help him out later.”

My temper flared. “If I ever get my hands on…”

Bones grabbed my upper arm. “Jim, maybe you should focus your energy into getting Spock get back on his feet.”

I nodded in agreement. I approached Spock to find him in bed but staring at the ceiling. He turned to me when I approached him. “Captain.”

“Spock. How have you been feeling?” I asked.

“Illogical Captain, I am a Vulcan.”

I sighed. “I’d like to know how your physical state is. Can you sit up?”

“Not without assistance, I am afraid I have lost the power to do so.”

I put my arms around Spock’s shoulders and raised him to a sitting position. I held him by the shoulders to steady him. “Bones said you’re going to need extensive physical therapy.”

“Unfortunately he is correct. I regret that I am requiring a disproportionate amount of the medical staff’s time and effort.”

“Spock you are the finest First Officer in the fleet. You represent a significant investment by Starfleet and aboard the Enterprise, your value is immeasurable.”

“Thank you, Jim.” Spock hinted at a smile. “I recall that you spent your entire shore leave in my hospital room.”

“I was concerned about you. I also felt guilty about what happened to you. Had we turned left in those tunnels you wouldn’t have been hit by the bomb, and we would’ve been able to beam aboard in time to evade the Romulans.”

“Had you left me behind you could have evaded the Romulans.”

“I could never.”

“I am grateful.”

I stroked his hair which had grown. “I think we’ll have to get your hair cut.”

“Agreed. I do not enjoy having it at this length.”

I was summoned to the bridge and I looked at Spock and said, “I’ll be back when I can.”

“I understand.”

Over the next couple of days Bones and Christine started Spock on a regiment of physical therapy to rebuild his wasted muscles. With nowhere else to go they took him to the gym for physical therapy.

When I went into the gym to see how Spock was doing Bones and Christine had placed him on one of the tumbling mats. Spock was on his back in Starfleet issue pajamas. His hair had been cut.

I asked, “How’s everything going in here?”

“Slowly,” Spock explained with a hint of disdain. “I have been trying to regain my ability to sit up unassisted.”

Bones added, “You’re coming along faster than a human in your condition would.”

Spock managed to sit himself up partly but it took a little while longer for him to bring himself up totally. Christine noted, “You weren’t able to do that yesterday.”

“I am aware of that.”

I joined the three of them on the tumbling mat. “Anyway I can help out?” I asked.

“I do not think so Captain,” Spock explained. “It has all been rather repetitive.”

“Rome wasn’t built in a day, Spock,” Bones added. “You need to have a little more patience. Maybe we should work on getting you to roll over.”

Spock closed his eyes, looking defeated. Bones lowered him to the mat and had him try to roll himself from his back to his stomach. Spock clearly had a great deal of difficulty. My first reaction was to help him, but Bones interrupted, “Don’t touch him. He needs to do it himself.”

Eventually with great difficulty, Spock managed to turn himself from his back to his stomach, and back again. Although he tried to hide it, it was clear Spock was tired and powerfully embarrassed.

After I stayed for about an hour I went back to my quarters. Since I had the chance, I called Ashley Grayson. I explained to her, “Spock is all right. He’s here on the Enterprise and our chief medical officer is trying to bring him back up to par.”

“I’m glad to hear that, James,” Ashley smiled. She paused. “I received a subpoena to testify against my brother about what happened to Spock.”

“We alerted the authorities. I’m hoping what was done to him won’t go with impunity.”

“I was devastated when I found out. For what it’s worth, my sister in law broke and she’s talking to the police.”

“I’m hoping to spare Spock having to face them in a court room. Dr. McCoy fears he may have psychological problems but I don’t know much about Vulcan psychology. We’re doing the best we can.”

“I appreciate your efforts. Spock chose his friends well.”

“Thank you Ashley. If we’re nearby we’ll be sure to let you stop in.”

“Thank you, James. Send Spock my love.”

“I will. Talk to you soon.”

As soon as the call with Ashley ended I took a shower. I relaxed for a while before going to bed.

That week I did what I could to be with Spock during his physical therapy. By the end of the second week, Spock was able to sit straight up unassisted albeit he was a little unsteady.

Although Spock was making steady progress in physical therapy, he was very sullen. At the end of the week as soon as I got up, I had Sulu take the con so I could visit with Spock. Bones pulled me aside and said, “Jim, can I speak to you for a minute?”

“What is it, Bones?” I asked.

“It’s Spock. Lately he’s been irritable, depressed, and hypervigilant. He hasn’t been eating or sleeping much. This morning he showed signs of a panic attack. In humans we call what he has Post Traumatic Stress Disorder but it’s unheard of in a Vulcan.”

“He’s half human.”

“That being said I have no idea how to treat him. Vulcan healers won’t treat something they consider a human affliction and Terran clinical psychologists won’t treat a Vulcan. I can tell you that he’s trying to cover it up.”

“I’ll talk to him and see how he is.”

I walked over to Spock. He was in bed staring at the ceiling looking defeated. Gently I asked, “I don’t see what so interesting about the ceiling, Spock. Are you all right? You’re looking a little out of it.”

Spock didn’t look me in the eyes. “I am doing what I can. The regiment Dr. McCoy has me on has been most effective.”

“It’s good to see you making progress. I understand you haven’t been yourself lately.”

“I have been trying to control my emotions. It is proving to be a challenge.”

“I told your Aunt the next time we’re on Earth we’d beam her aboard. She panicked in the worst way when she discovered you were missing.”

“She is much like my Mother.”

“Spock, ever since I first laid eyes on this ship I’ve had you two steps from me. We’ve been through thick and thin together. I don’t believe anyone knows you as well as I do. You can put on a good face and make anyone believe that you’re in control but you can’t fool me.”

Spock closed his eyes and rolled his head to the side. “I fear the ramifications of my abduction were more than just physical. After spending months being deliberately and systematically tortured I have had difficulty resting or getting the concentration to put myself into a sleep trance. My physical state has denied me what little dignity I maintained. I would like to return to my duties as a Starfleet officer instead of remaining a withered parasite.”

“Spock, you are not a parasite. You were injured and then badly tortured and you need to take time to recuperate. I know you’re feeling a little defeated so Bones and I will do anything to help you with the trouble you’ve been having with your emotions. For now is there anything I could do to make things easier while you’re in medical bay?”

“If it would not be any trouble I would prefer the blanket from my quarters. Vulcans prefer the environment warmer than humans and the medical bay is cold.”

“Of course.” I nodded. I went back to Spock’s quarters and retrieved his blanket and pillow. I looked around his quarters which were a high military clean albeit the air was a little stale. I looked up at Spock’s uniforms which hung in his closet. It gave me an idea.

When I got back to the medical bay I put Spock’s blanket on the bed. “I also figured if you’d want the blanket you’d want the pillow too.”

“Thank you.” Spock noticed cornflower blue. “What is that?”

“You need to be reminded of who you are.” I took Spock’s Starfleet uniform out of the pile. He was able to sit up so I carefully pulled the blue tunic over his head making sure not to hurt him. He still couldn’t raise his arms above his head very well. I explained, “You are the finest First Officer in the fleet and you should be recognizable as one.”

“Thank you Captain.”

I smoothed out the uniform. “You look more like you now.”

Bones walked over and said to Spock, “We’ll continue today in the gym.” He turned to me. “If you’re off duty it’ll probably just be the three of us.”

“I’d be glad to help the two of you out.”

By now Spock was able to sit himself up unassisted as well as turning himself over. Once we got him to the gym Bones had him continue his regiment.

Spock managed to turn onto his stomach and drag himself a few feet forward using his arms and legs. As soon as Spock managed to move himself a couple of feet, Bones noted, “That’s progress Spock, you weren’t able to do that yesterday.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Spock replied. “I will be relieved once I have regained my mobility.”

“At this rate it won’t be too long.”


	5. On The Dry And Dusty Road

The following week when I had lunch in the mess hall, Bones sat down with me and explained, “Jim, I’m concerned about Spock.”

“What’s going on?” I asked.

“I’ve been recording his sleep patterns. He hasn’t slept more than an hour and a half at a time since he’s been back aboard. He hasn’t been eating either. It slowed his progress in physical therapy because his body isn’t recharging or refueling. I had to put a line in him and feed him intravenously. The physical therapy doesn’t look like much, but Spock was immobile for months so for him it’s a lot of work. I couldn’t just let him waste away.”

“I understand why you had to put the line in, but if I know Spock it didn’t go over well. I know he’s not himself because of what’s been done to him but I doubt he’ll admit it to you. Maybe if I could talk to him or maybe if I were around more…”

“Jim, he’s a lot different when you’re around. It’s safe to say Spock cares about your opinion and how you feel. I can tell you for sure he’s a lot more motivated when you’re around.”

I nodded. “I’ll make sure to be around more often. Being the captain of a starship has its constraints.”

Bones and I went back to work after lunch. Once I was off duty I decided to check back on Spock. When I went to see him, he was wearing his Starfleet uniform. One of his sleeves was rolled up and an intravenous drip was attached to his arm.

I asked, “How are you doing today, Spock? I can see Bones had to put a line in you.”

He looked at the IV catheter in his forearm. “I believe this method is what Dr. McCoy would refer to as ‘doing things the hard way.’”

I took a breath. “Spock, I can tell you’re going through a tough time. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

“Negative Captain, although I am half human I fail to see the purpose of reiterating what has already been done.”

I gestured toward his forearm. “I understand Bones had to take this measure because you’ve been refusing food.”

“I have found my appetite to be minimal.”

“Even if you don’t have an appetite is it logical to refuse sustenance?”

Spock looked at me as if he’d made a realization. Just then Bones walked over and explained, “Well, Spock it looks like you’re almost done with this round. We’ll get you unplugged and get you moving.”

“I would like to enquire as to what your plan is for today.”

“I think today we’re going to get you walking again. Since Jim is here he can help out.”

Spock raised an eyebrow.

“You’ll heal faster the sooner we get you back on your feet. Since you’ve regained a lot of your movement I’d say it’s high time.” Bones unplugged the line and taped the IV hub down to Spock’s forearm. “We’ll leave this in for now so I don’t have to stick you again later.” Bones looked at me and asked, “Jim, could you help me here?”

“Of course,” I replied. Bones moved Spock so that he was sitting with his feet touching the floor. I followed Bones’s direction and took hold of Spock’s upper arm with one hand and took his hand with my other hand. Bones did the same.

We helped Spock pull himself to a standing position. Spock clearly covered up feelings of amazement and vindication. It was the first time he had stood up since before the Romulan attack.

Bones asked, “How are you Spock? Are you dizzy or lightheaded?”

“Not at all, Doctor,” Spock replied.

“Why don’t we get you walking?”

Spock struggled to put on foot in front of the other while Bones and I supported some of his weight. Bones noted, “You’re a little wobbly but you’re doing okay. Are you in any pain?”

“Negative Doctor. However, I underestimated how difficult this would be. I have not required assistance while walking since I was an infant.”

“The more often we do this, the sooner you won’t need assistance while walking.”

We got Spock walking for a little while before we took him back to medical bay. Although he kept his composure he was clearly sullen. By the time we got back to medical bay Spock was fighting sleep.

As soon as Spock was in bed he fell asleep. Bones reconnected the IV hub to another drip. “We’ll do another round while he’s sleeping.”

I pulled the blanket over him and asked, “I’m surprised how wiped out he is just from a brief period of walking.”

“He’s been immobile for a while, it takes a lot out of him. He’ll get better. I’m glad he’s sleeping, for now.” Bones turned to me. “Dinner in the mess hall?”

I nodded. Bones followed me to the mess hall for dinner. Afterward we both spent some much needed time in the rec room before retiring for the evening.

I decided to help Bones with Spock as often as I could. For the next two days we continued having Spock stand and walk while we supported some of his weight. On the third day when I arrived in the medical bay, Bones already had Spock sitting with his feet toward the floor.

When Bones saw me he greeted, “You’re just in time.”

“Good afternoon, Captain,” Spock greeted.

“How has your day been, Spock?” I asked.

“The same, days while in medical bay are repetitive. Each is identical to the previous day.”

“Spock, you need to learn patience. A human who had been through what you’ve been through wouldn’t be recovering as fast,” Bones groaned. Spock seemed unfazed by Bones’s comment so Bones just continued with, “Let’s just get you on your feet.”

Bones and I each took one of Spock’s arms and helped him pull himself to a standing position. This time Spock seemed to have an easier time walking but he still seemed sullen. I noted, “You seem to be having less difficulty, Spock.”

“Thank you Captain. I do however, feel a loss of a sense of dignity.”

“Spock, you got hit by a Romulan bomb,” Bones explained. “It wasn’t easy even keeping you alive long enough to put you back together. It’s going to take a while to get you back to normal. Consider yourself fortunate.”

“Doctor, I shall.”

“We could go to the rec room and you could get in a couple of games of chess,” I suggested.

Spock looked annoyed but he allowed us to walk with him to the rec room. While we were heading to the rec room several of the crewmen were surprised and happy to see Spock. A couple of them patted him on the shoulder and said, “It’s good to see you back, Commander.”

Although he hid it, Spock seemed brightened by the positive responses from the crewmen. Once we got to the rec room one person gave up his chair so Spock could sit at the table with the chess board.

One of the engineers looked at Spock and asked, “Could I join in here?” He sat down at the table across from Spock.

“I don’t know, you’re probably no match for him,” Bones noted.

“It has been a while since I have played chess. You may have an advantage,” Spock explained. “What is your name?”

The engineer beamed at Spock like he had great admiration for him. “Robert Jackson, from engineering. Mr. Scott told me about you. He said you have quite the game.”

“Why thank you.” Spock raised an eyebrow.

As Spock played chess with the young engineer Bones and I forgot anything had happened to him until he gained some ground in the game. Spock’s difficulty reaching up made the 3D chess game a challenge. Luckily Jackson was patient and let Spock take his time.

After nearly an hour Spock had a winning move with a bishop. When he tried to move the bishop to the king’s level he couldn’t reach up well enough to make the winning move. Jackson looked at Spock, amazed. “That’s a checkmate you have there. The queen is yours.”

Spock looked at Jackson in amazement. “Thank you, Jackson.” After it was declared that Spock won the game Jackson shook hands with Spock before he went back to engineering.

“You may need another operation on that shoulder if it doesn’t heal,” Bones explained. “Soft tissue injuries can be tricky.”

“I am hoping it will not come to that,” Spock replied.

Bones and I sat down at the table with Spock. Soon enough Scotty showed up in the rec room. When he saw Spock his face lit up like it was Christmas and New Year’s Day. “Mr. Spock, you have no idea how good it is to see you out and about. We were worried sick about you.”

“Thank you Mr. Scott. May I inquire as to how you are doing down in engineering?” Spock asked.

“Wonderful sir. We had a bit to do after the Romulans but she’s a fine vessel if I do say so myself.”

“Very good Mr. Scott.”

“Thank you. We all look forward to having you back on the bridge.”

The three of us spent another hour in the rec room before Bones and I walked Spock back to medical bay. The enthusiasm from the crew created a renewed sense of confidence in Spock.


	6. The Night Is Hot And Black As Ink

As the days progressed Spock seemed to do better at walking with assistance from me and Bones. In spite of the progress he was making, there were days when Spock seemed unwilling to even get out of bed.

Some days I went to the medical bay to find Spock in bed with the blanket up to his ears. He gave us the impression that the only reason he even got out of bed was he cared about my opinion. I couldn’t tell if it had been personal or professional.

The pivotal day came when Bones and I took Spock to the gym for the usual routine. Bones had Spock stand up on the tumbling mat while we held him up. Bones looked over Spock and his posture before he said to me, “Jim I’ll need you to follow my directions.”

I nodded in agreement. Spock looked at me and noted, “This should prove interesting.”

“Jim, take your hands off of Spock,” Bones instructed.

Bones and I took our hands off of Spock’s arms at the same time. A wave of relief, amazement and vindication came over me when I saw that Spock could finally stand without assistance. Spock showed signs of muted amazement as well.

“Spock,” I gasped.

We stayed close by as Bones had Spock try to walk unassisted. I half expected his legs to buckle under him but they didn’t. He was a little unsteady on his feet but he managed to get a few paces in. I looked at Bones to see he was as elated as I was.

I held one of Spock’s hands to help keep him steady, although he didn’t need us to support his weight. Bones asked Spock, “How are you doing? Can you keep this up?”

“I am a little unsteady but I can manage to keep myself standing,” Spock explained.

“That’s good. From the way things are going I’d say you’ll be out of medical bay soon enough. I believe you’ve waited long enough.”

Spock appeared relieved. “Agreed Doctor.”

The rest of the physical therapy regiment involved getting Spock to pull himself off the floor into a chair or pick himself up. Bones was unwilling to discharge Spock from medical bay until he was pleased that he could get up should he fall.

For the next few days I watched as Spock practiced pulling himself into a chair from the floor, and also getting off of the floor by turning himself over. Spock seemed to struggle but the more he did it, the easier it became.

Finally the day came when Bones released Spock to his quarters. Although he was still unfit for duty he had regained most of his lost motor skills. As soon as Bones discharged Spock I walked him back to his quarters. Spock seemed glad to be out of medical bay permanently but I couldn’t shake the feeling that he just wasn’t right.

Once Spock was back in his quarters he looked around like he hadn’t been there in years while I decided to put his stuff away. When Spock saw what I was doing he insisted, “Allow me.”

As Spock put his stuff away I asked him, “Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I am fully functional Captain, however I have found myself to be quite unsteady on my feet at times.” He was noticeably subdued.

“Bones said that it would be a while before you’re back to 100%.”

“I am aware of that, Captain. I must admit I am anxious to be able to return to my duties.”

“I’m looking forward to having you back on the bridge.”

“Thank you.” Spock sat down at the table. He rested his elbows on the table and folded his hands with his forefingers pressed to his lips. I couldn’t effectively explain it but Spock didn’t seem to be himself.

“Spock, are you sure you’re okay? You don’t seem to be yourself.”

“I am well, Captain. I should take some time to meditate and try to restore my control.”

I nodded in agreement. Just then Uhura summoned me to the bridge. I looked at Spock and said, “Would it be all right for me to come back later?”

“It would be appreciated. For now I am going to meditate. Perhaps if you returned after you have completed your duties.”

I nodded and smiled. “I’ll be back later.” I reported to the bridge where the Enterprise had made contact with an unknown alien vessel. Although their intentions were indeed hostile, we managed to escape them with no altercation.

As soon as I had finished my duties on the bridge I went back to Spock’s quarters to check on him. Spock was kneeling in a state of meditation.

“Captain,” he greeted. Spock clearly looked tired.

“How have you been today, Spock?”

“I am trying my best to restore control of my emotions. It is proving to be a challenge.”

“Have you been meditating all day?”

“Affirmative.”

“Would you join me for dinner in the mess hall?”

“I will Captain.”

Spock got up from his meditative pose but was a little unsteady as he stood. I grabbed his upper arm to steady him. Once we got to the mess hall we sat down over dinner and I asked, “I know you’re having trouble but have you made any progress with your meditation?”

“I have made some progress but I have not been particularly prolific. Before the Romulan attack, I was able to control my emotions with less time and effort,” Spock explained.

“Bones said it was to be expected given what you’ve been through. Have you considered talking to the ship’s psychologist?”

Spock sat with food in front of him but he didn’t eat. “I have, however I am not sure how successful she could be. She has no experience with Vulcans.”

“Would it help if we could find a Vulcan healer to help you?”

“The success of a Vulcan healer with the problem I am having right now is doubtful. I am half human.”

“I’ll check our scheduled rendezvous points, and find out if any of them have a Vulcan healer present. If it may prove successful then it’s worth a try.”

“Thank you,” Spock looked up at me with a certain warmth in his eyes. He looked wiped and still didn’t touch his food.

“Look Spock, you know Bones is monitoring how much you eat and I don’t want to see him drag you back to medical bay and stick another needle in you. So could you humor me?”

Spock looked at me strangely. “I see the logic in what you are asking of me. I shall.” He did what he could to eat although it clearly was hard for him.

Spock fielded a lot of questions from crewmembers about how he was. Several were glad to see him, others voiced concern for his well-being. After we had finished dinner Spock and I both went back to our respective quarters for the evening. Spock went into one of his meditations. I showered and relaxed with a glass of brandy before going to bed.

As I lay in bed that night I could hear Spock moving around in his quarters. Even before the Romulan attack I had never known him to be awake late at night. I dismissed it and went to sleep. Hours later I was awakened by the sound of Spock moving around.

My lack of sleep led to difficulty concentrating that day while on the bridge. At first I was dismissive about this unusual behavior coming from Spock. On the second night I was awakened by him several times throughout the night. By the end of the week Spock had kept me up every night and I decided to ask him about it. It was not like him at all.

I knocked on the door to Spock’s quarters. I calmly said, “Spock, I know you’re up, I can hear you. What’s going on?”

Spock answered the door looking exhausted. “Captain, my apologies for my disturbances.”

“Why don’t you join me in my quarters?” I suggested. “Sulu has the con tomorrow morning, so I have time.”

Spock reluctantly joined me in my quarters. He sat down at my table. I sat down across from him and explained, “Spock, all week you’ve been up all night. What’s wrong? This isn’t like you.”

Spock closed his eyes and slowly dropped his head. “My sincere apologies. It was never my intention to disturb you.”

“Spock, what’s going on?”

Spock rested his elbows on the table and rubbed his face. He covered his face with his hand, “My difficulty sleeping is a residual effect of my abduction.”

I thought back to the state in which we had found him in Barstow. My stomach turned and I bit my lower lip. “Spock, what happened to you was heinous. The Romulans dropped a bomb on you and then your Uncle tortured you. You’ve been though a lot and you’re traumatized. It happens to humans who go through the same thing.”

“Vulcan emotions are intense which is why they require control. My progress in meditation has restored some of my control, however I still have a large deficit.”

“Spock I don’t want you to feel like there’s any rush. If you have to meditate all day and night do so.” I paused. “If you need anything feel free to let me know.”

“I appreciate it Jim.” Spock looked down at the table. “I realize since I have been taken back on board of the Enterprise that I have yet to inquire as to what you did in my absence.”

“Chekov covered your Science Officer duties.”

“Were you injured by the Romulans?”

“I got a concussion but other than that I was unhurt. I was more concerned about you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “You do know that I was aware of your presence while I was hospitalized.”

“Yes, Bones told me that even a Vulcan in a coma is fully aware of everything and everyone around them. That was why I had the worst time leaving you while you were in Intensive Care. They weren’t sure if you were going to live or die.”

“I recall when I regained consciousness you were in an advanced state of exhaustion. Worse than I have seen you in aboard the Enterprise.”

I nodded in agreement. “The second night after the attack your vital signs went to zero and they had to call a code on you. After that I couldn’t let my guard down enough to sleep.”

“I recall. I was aware enough to realize what was happening before it happened.”

I looked at him astonished. “Do you remember anything from when you were, dead?”

“I did see my deceased mother which did validate a few of my theories. You were clinically dead for a lot longer after realigning the warp core. Do you remember anything?”

I thought back. “I saw the strangest things after I died in that engine compartment. I had strange visions of things we did together that we have never done. I saw us combating Nazis.”

“Nazis existed in the 20th century.”

“Which is why it’s strange. I saw you trying to mind meld with this machine outside the ship. The strangest thing though, was I saw you trapped and dying inside the engine compartment while I looked on. We were much older and our uniforms were different.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “How different?”

“We had these red coats that were elaborate and Napoleonic.”

“Fascinating. The description sounds like no Starfleet uniform that has ever been issued.”

“I also saw you in a fish tank trying to mind meld with a humpback whale.”

“Illogical Captain, humpback whales have been extinct for centuries.”

“That’s what makes it so strange. The last thing I saw was my Dad dying and I recalled everything Admiral Pike said to me about being Captain of a Starship. Then I woke up with you standing over me.”

Spock looked inquisitive. “A fascinating revelation.”

“I’m still trying to make sense of it.” I nodded.

“Jim if I may, I will admit that although your reasons are sound, I was surprised you never left the room while I was hospitalized. Your actions made sense after I mind melded with you.”

“I couldn’t leave. I kept thinking I almost got you killed and I had to see this through.”

“Although the logic of your actions is questionable I would like you to know that I am grateful you stayed with me. Your presence was beneficial.”

I smiled widely.

Spock yawned and appeared to have a harder time staying awake. “I would like to return to my quarters. I will do what I can not to disturb you but sleep has been elusive.”

I smiled. “Goodnight Spock.”

As soon as Spock left I went back to bed and fell asleep. I was exhausted from lack of sleep. There wasn’t so much as a noise from Spock’s quarters.

After he had stopped moving around at night I made the mistake of assuming Spock was sleeping as well. Every time I saw Spock he looked exhausted and never seemed to rid himself of this beat dog look.

When I was excused from the bridge I went to the rec room to find Spock playing a game of chess with one of the engineers. He was clearly exhausted and the engineer was beating him.

I sat down at the table and said, “Afternoon gentlemen.”

“Captain,” the engineer greeted.

“Your name is Preston right?” I asked.

“Affirmative Captain,” he replied.

I looked at Spock, “Spock how are you doing?”

“It would appear that Mr. Preston is besting me at chess on this occasion,” Spock explained.

I looked at Mr. Preston. “Your chess skills must be formidable if you can beat Mr. Spock.”

“Commander Spock taught me how to play a couple of weeks ago.”

“He must have taught you well.”

“Oh I agree, Captain.”

In another four moves Mr. Preston had a winning move. Once the game was over he returned to engineering. I looked at Spock and said, “I’d like to believe that you taught that boy well but I don’t think that’s the case here. You don’t appear to have slept in days.”

“I have found myself unable to Captain.”

“Have you talked to Bones about it?”

“I have not, Captain.”

“I’d like you to speak with the ship’s psychologist sometime today or tomorrow. Even if we can’t find a Vulcan healer maybe Dr. Menard can do you some good.”

“If it would not bother you Captain, I would ask that you accompany me.”

“I wouldn’t mind at all. I’ve been concerned about you ever since we found you. She is in medical bay right now if you’d like to talk to her. We could go now and have dinner afterward.”

Spock closed his eyes and nodded in agreement. We got up and I led Spock back to medical bay where he visited Dr. Menard. She was an older woman with a deep seated kindness in her eyes. I hoped she could help Spock.

Dr. Menard had us sit in an enclosed area of the medical bay. She sat across from us and gently explained, “Commander, I’ve read your file and I’ve been briefed on what happened to you from the Romulan attack to your abduction. I am truly sorry you went through that. How can I help you?”

Spock rubbed his face. “I have been experiencing difficulties since I was rescued from Barstow.”

“What kind of difficulties are you having Mr. Spock?”

“I find I’ve been experiencing a loss of appetite, difficulty sleeping, paranoia, depression, hypervigilance.”

“All of which are symptoms seen in humans who suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. It’s not surprising, given what you’ve been through.”

I interrupted, “Now when he and Dr. McCoy say he’s showing signs of ‘hypervigilance’ what exactly does that mean?”

“When somebody is in a situation where there is a constant threat of physical harm they may develop a perpetual state of awareness and arousal,” She explained. “When physical harm is a constant threat the person survives by always being guarded and prepared.”

“And now I cannot turn it off,” Spock added.

I looked at Spock and asked, “What can we do to help him?”

She looked at Spock, “What we are dealing with here is uncharted territory. There has never been a reported case of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder in a Vulcan. Treating it could be tricky. I could write him a prescription for an anti-depressant or an anti-anxiety medication but the effects could be unpredictable in a Vulcan.”

“What else can be done?”

“Mr. Spock, have you tried to meditate to restore your Vulcan control?” She asked.

“I have been meditating frequently to restore control of my emotions but it has proven ineffective,” Spock explained. “I have been able to restore some control, but it has taken considerable time and effort for the amount that has been restored.”

“Commander, if you can restore some of your control through meditation you may do yourself a service to continue doing so. Slow progress is preferable to no progress at all.”

“Is that all Doctor?”

“I’m going to contact a Vulcan specialist and a Vulcan healer and ask for their advice on how to proceed. Your symptoms are concerning and we need to address them. How often have you been eating?”

“Twice in the past week.”

“What have your sleep habits been like?”

“I have been sleeping at the very most an hour or two each night. I find myself waking up frequently.”

She looked concerned. “Would you consider allowing Dr. McCoy to give you a sedative?”

“I will consider it.”

“I’d like to see you again next week and we’ll monitor your progress. In the meantime, I’m going to ask Dr. McCoy to give you a sedative. Continue your meditation and let me know how you’re doing with that.”

He nodded, “Thank you, Doctor.”

We walked over to Bones’s office where he gave Spock a bottle of sleep aids. I kept looking at Spock concerned. Afterward we went back to my quarters to have dinner. Spock sat at the table and eyed the vial suspiciously while we ate dinner.

“You’re uncertain about those sleep aids aren’t you?” I asked.

“I have apprehensions about the efficacy of such things. I have good reason to be reticent.”

“Spock, if you need to meditate day and night until you’ve restored your control well enough to sleep properly then that’s what you should do.” I let out a deep breath. “The irony of this is I spent twelve days worrying about whether or not you were going to wake up. These past few weeks I’ve done nothing but worry about you not sleeping.”

“My sincere apologies, Captain.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” I looked at Spock’s plate and asked, “Are you going to eat that food or just play with it?”

Spock forced himself to eat but it was clear he wasn’t hungry. I got the feeling he didn’t want me to worry.

“If you want to stick around I usually watch an old film before going to bed.”

“It would be appreciated, Captain.”

After dinner Spock sat on my couch while I put on the classic movie Gunfight at the O.K. Corral. Spock noted, “You have an affection for antiques.”

“Spock, there are some aspects of film history you just can’t beat,” I explained.

Spock raised an eyebrow. The movie began and I sat on the sofa with him. He seemed to enjoy the movie for a little while and he even seemed to relax. By the time the movie had ended Spock had fallen asleep on my sofa.

Since he hadn’t been sleeping I decided not to wake him. I gently laid him on his side and carefully propped a pillow under his head. I retrieved one of my blankets and covered him up to his ears like he preferred. I watched him sleep for a minute or so before I went to bed myself.

I woke up hours later to a loud thud along with the sound of labored breathing. I turned the lights on to discover Spock had fallen to the floor. I rushed to him. He was tangled in the blanket and gasping for air fast and frantically. I sat next to him and held his shoulders to keep him steady. He managed to gasp, “I cannot breathe.”

I lifted Spock back onto the sofa. He looked terrified and his hands trembled badly. He held onto me like his life depended on it. I summoned Bones for an emergency. Bones came running with a medical kit.

I explained, “He woke up with trouble breathing.” I held Spock’s hand and reassured him. “You’re going to be all right.”

Bones kneeled in front of the sofa and scanned Spock with the tricorder. He gently explained, “Your breathing is just fine, Spock. You’re having a panic attack.”

“You have a talent for understatement,” Spock gasped.

“I’m going to give you a sedative. I can’t say I’ve ever seen a Vulcan have a panic attack.” Bones gave Spock an injection and his breathing slowed. Bones took hold of Spock’s other hand and spoke gently, “You’ll be all right.”

Within a minute or so the sedative Bones gave Spock quelled the panic attack although he still seemed very agitated. Bones looked at Spock like he was very concerned. “Spock, you should consider taking the sleep aids I gave you. It might prevent this from happening again.”

“That will be quite all right, Doctor.”

“What were you doing here anyway?”

“He fell asleep while we were watching Gunfight at the O.K. Corral and I decided not to wake him,” I looked at the clock. “If it’s any consolation Spock, you’ve been asleep since around 2000 and its 0200 now.”

“You haven’t slept for six hours since you’ve been back aboard the Enterprise,” Bones noted. “If you’re all right I’m going to go back to my quarters.”

“I am Doctor.”

As soon as Bones left I said, “That must have been one hell of a nightmare you were having.”

“Indeed Captain,” Spock agreed. He looked up at me with a look of exhaustion and muted embarrassment. The sedative seemed to really wipe him out.

“If you want to stay here that’s fine. You look like that sedative is knocking you out.”

“I agree Captain, and I appreciate your concern.”

I held Spock’s hand as he drifted off to sleep for the second time. As soon as Spock was asleep I went back to bed. When I got up for duty the next day I had to make sure not to wake Spock as I was leaving.


	7. That Falls Like Tears From On High

As the days went by Spock meditated day and night to restore some of his lost control, but he was clearly having a hard time with it. He did however, take to spending more time with me when I wasn’t needed on the bridge.

Although Spock met with the psychologist once a week it seemed futile trying to get a Vulcan to talk about how they feel. It did serve to show how well he was restoring his own control.

I made a habit of having dinner with Spock every evening at my quarters. Spock ate sufficiently if only to keep me from worrying about him. What Bones referred to as Spock’s ‘fragile mental state’ kept him unfit for duty.

The day came when we got word about the fate of Spock’s Uncle and his family. I decided to tell Spock the news while we were having dinner. Spock sat at my table quietly. I wasn’t sure how to approach the subject.

“May I ask how your day was?”

“Mostly uneventful Captain. I have made some progress in meditation however I find myself as a human would put it, troubled.”

“What’s troubling you? Would you like to talk about it?”

“I have been thinking about my Mother, my Aunt Ashley and my Grandparents. From what I can remember my Grandparents were open minded and egalitarian minded. They believed in the importance of diversity. Above all they were very kind people.”

“It’s not surprising seeing that your Mother grew up to marry a Vulcan ambassador. I can clearly see where your Aunt got her kind and open minded ways from. She was very kind to me while you were in the hospital. So what part of that is troubling you?”

“My uncle was raised by the same parents as my Aunt and Mother. Their childrearing method was no different with my uncle than it was with my Mother or Aunt. What I have failed to surmise is why my Uncle developed his xenophobic and sadistic ways.”

I let out a sigh. “Maybe he fell in with the wrong crowd growing up.” Spock looked at me confused so I elaborated. “Maybe growing up he had some friends who were xenophobic and he picked up their ways.”

“Is this a common occurrence among human youth?”

“More common than I’d like to admit. Maybe you should ask your Aunt what she thinks went wrong with your Uncle.”

“Indeed. I shall do so the next time I speak to her.”

While we were eating, I reluctantly explained, “Spock, I was informed about the fate of your uncle and his family.”

Spock froze. “What did you hear?”

I paused. “In addition to what happened to you a Klingon died while in their care. After they were found guilty of what happened to you, they were extradited to Kronos. They were sentenced to twenty years on Rura Penthe.”

“I was unaware that Klingons require nursing care. To my knowledge Klingons feel that the sick and injured should die. It is why Klingons have no medical field.”

“Somehow they rescued an injured Klingon from a ship that crashed on Earth and then neglected the Klingon to death. I guess to Klingons, denying them death in battle is deplorable enough, but to let them wither at the hands of a human is unspeakable. Lucky for them the Klingons are taking prisoners.”

“Few prisoners have survived one year on Rura Penthe.”

“How long would you have survived them had we not found you?”

“I do not know, Jim. I am grateful for your intervention.”

“I have no idea where I’d be without you, Spock. The next Starbase we’re scheduled to dock with has a telepath. She could help you with your control.”

Spock’s ears perked up.

“Would you care to watch another film after dinner?”

“Your affection for the classics is fascinating, Captain. You have shown a tendency to favor films that classify as a ‘Western.’”

I smiled. “You would be correct Mr. Spock.”

Spock looked at me with one of those half smiles he was comfortable showing around others. We sat down and watched another movie. Like before Spock fell asleep on my sofa and I let him remain there undisturbed. By the time I had woken up the next morning Spock had returned to his own quarters.

The next morning we headed toward the Starbase we were scheduled to dock with. We were close to the Starbase when the Enterprise came under attack. It wasn’t long before we identified our attacker as a Romulan vessel.

After the Enterprise took several hits we played a long cat and mouse game with the Romulan ship. All I could think about was when a Romulan attack nearly got Spock killed. I managed to disable the ship but before Scotty could beam the survivors on board, I blew the ship with a photon torpedo.

The entire bridge looked at me stunned. Intimidated, Chekov stuttered, “They were already disabled Captain.”

I realized what I had done and hung my head. “Let’s head back to the starbase.” Before the crew could question me further I called down to medical bay. “Bones, how many casualties?”

“None so far, but Jim, you’d better get down here,” Bones explained wearily.

A lightning bolt of fear went through me before I had Sulu take the con. I ran down to medical bay as fast as I could. When I arrived in medical bay Bones explained to me, “Jim, Spock was in one of the corridors when the Romulan torpedo hit.”

“Is he okay?”

“Spock’s not physically injured but he was post-traumatic before all of this. According to the midshipman who carried him here, it looked like he had a panic attack that turned into a massive seizure before he just shut down. Spock is completely unresponsive right now.”

I approached Spock in medical bay. He was still in his Starfleet uniform although he looked like he was dead already. I picked up one of his hands and asked, “What can you tell me, Bones?”

“I contacted a Vulcan specialist and she said that this wasn’t a seizure at all. This is like a Vulcan nervous breakdown. His mind is shutting itself down and his vital signs are minimal. If he continues like this his mind will shut his body down with it and he’ll die.”

“Dear God.” I covered my mouth with my hand and shed a couple of tears. “Is there anything that can be done?”

“I can keep giving him stimulants to keep him going but there’s nothing I can do. She said the only thing that can be done is to have a Vulcan healer or a telepath pull him out of this. The base insists they have one.”

“We should be at the Starbase in six hours.”

“He doesn’t have six hours, but I assure you if he goes into cardiac arrest I’ll throw everything I have at him.” He sighed. “You could try talking to him.”

I sat next to Spock and said, “Spock, can you hold on a little bit longer? We’ll be at the Starbase in six hours. There’s someone there who can help you.”


	8. Only Love Can Make It Rain

I sat next to Spock until I was summoned back to the bridge. We brought the Enterprise back into the Starbase where I gave the crew permission to take their shore leave on the base.

I stayed behind in medical bay with Bones and Spock. His vitals signs kept slipping lower and Bones didn’t know how much longer he had. Before long a tall woman with dark curly hair arrived in medical bay. She looked at me and asked, “Is this the Vulcan I was informed of?”

I stood up and gave her a stiff grin. “Yes. I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise and this is my First Officer Mr. Spock.”

Her eyes lit up. “My name is Eveline, I’m a telepath. I was informed that you have a Vulcan who has shut down.”

“Yes, Spock was suffering from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Nobody knew how to treat it in a Vulcan. With meditation he managed to make some progress but today he shut down.”

Eveline put one hand on Spock’s face. “I’ve heard of Vulcans shutting down but I’ve never actually seen it. It’s really rare. I may be able to pull him out of this but he won’t be back to 100% for a while.”

“Just get him out of this, we can deal with the rest.”

Eveline put both of her hands on his face. She seemed to go into a trance for nearly an hour before Spock opened his eyes and raised his hands to her face. When he was completely awake she looked at me and said, “He is recovered.”

I looked at Spock who still looked a little stunned. “Are you all right?” I asked.

“I am well, Captain.” Spock sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.

“Spock this is Eveline, she’s a telepath from the Starbase.”

“I am aware.” Spock looked at Eveline. “I appreciate your efforts.”

Eveline’s eyes sparkled when she looked at me. I thanked her for her efforts. Afterward she returned to the Starbase while I walked Spock back to his quarters. We stayed for a couple of hours while Spock recovered. When Spock seemed better I asked, “How are you, Spock?”

“I can assure you Captain, I am well.”

“Are you sure? Just a couple of hours ago you were near death.”

Spock looked at me reassuringly. “I am more like myself which has not been so for quite some time. Jim, since we are at a Starbase may I suggest you take advantage of the facilities?”

“Any chance you might take some shore leave? You’ve been through a lot lately.”

“I have considered doing so. I see no reason to remain aboard the Enterprise alone.”

I smiled, “Why don’t we head on over?”

Spock nodded in agreement. The two of us met up with Scotty and Chekhov at one of the pubs on the Starbase. Scotty smiled widely when he saw Spock and greeted, “Mr. Spock, it’s good to see you out and about after what happened this morning.”

“It is good to see you’re all right, Mr. Spock,” Chekhov added.

“Why thank you gentlemen. Mr. Scott, may I inquire about the repairs to the Enterprise?”

“The Romulans took it out of her but we’ll put her right back together again. She’s fine vessel if I do say so myself, she can take a pounding.”

“I am looking forward to a couple of days of shore leave after these attacks,” Chekhov added. He had a glass of vodka in front of him. “It is a very nice Starbase.”

Just then a woman who I recognized to be Eveline walked into the pub. As soon as she spotted us she joined us. Several men turned to look at her as she walked across the pub.

“Captain Kirk, Mr. Spock,” she greeted with a smile. “May I join you?”

“Of course,” I nodded. I gestured toward Scotty and Chekhov. “Eveline, this is my chief engineer, Montgomery Scott and my navigator, Pavel Chekhov.”

Mr. Scott shook her hand and said, “A lovely lady is always a welcome guest.”

Chekov shook Eveline’s hand and smiled. “You’re as beautiful as the women of Moscow.”

“Why thank you gentlemen,” she replied.

“She helped Spock earlier today,” I explained.

Chekov and Scotty looked at Spock strangely. Spock explained, “Eveline has telepathic abilities that can have healing effects on Vulcans.”

“Anything that will get you back on the bridge Commander,” Chekov agreed. “Telepathy is a Russian invention.”

As we sat down with Chekov and Scotty, Eveline fawned over me to no end. Eventually I returned to the ship with Spock, Scotty and Chekhov. Upon returning to my quarters I called Spock. When he arrived in my quarters I asked, “How are you doing, Spock?”

“The paranoia is gone but another feeling I have been unable to identify remains,” Spock explained. “Due to my lack of experience in identifying emotions I am unable to surmise what emotion this is. I believe it may be a lingering manifestation of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.”

“Would you be able to show it to me if you melded with me?”

Spock nodded. He reached out to the psi points on my face and after the words of preparation he began the meld. Although the meld lasted a few seconds I was inundated with this very low sad feeling along with a small sense of worthlessness. As soon as the meld ended I noted, “Spock, you’re depressed. It’s a common thing in humans.”

“May I inquire as to how humans deal with this emotion?”

“There’s no one size fits all approach. It all hinges on what’s causing it. It might do you some good to get out and about. How’s your appetite? Are you hungry?”

“I think so.”

“If you’re up for it we could get a late dinner on the base. I haven’t eaten all day and I took down a Romulan ship this morning. Plus I’ve had a bit to drink.”

“I would appreciate it, Jim.” Spock looked down. “I was informed about the encounter with the Romulan ship. You performed what I believe humans would refer to as a coup de grace.”

“I’m going to have a lot of explaining to do about that.”

“Captain, if the ship was already disabled it was illogical to attack it any further.”

I shook my head. “I’m in no position to argue with you.”

Spock and I went to the Starbase for dinner. I noticed Spock had a much easier time eating than he had before. I noticed and said, “You seem to be eating a lot better than you have.”

“You are correct Captain. It has become easier.”

After dinner Spock joined me in my quarters for another movie. Afterward he returned to his quarters. When I saw Spock the next day before I went back to the Starbase he looked wiped.

“My sleep patterns have showed no marked improvement,” Spock explained.

“You mean you haven’t been able to sleep,” I confirmed.

“I believe that is what I said Captain.”

“Before you had this meltdown that Eveline had to pull you out of, you said that when you meditated you could restore some of your control over emotion.”

“I will continue doing so. I may be able to sleep better and rid myself of this low feeling.”

I nodded in agreement.

“Will you be returning to the base?”

“I may check out the garden and the pool. What about you?”

“I am going to stay on board. If you need me you know where I am. Dr. McCoy insists I am still unfit for duty.”

We stayed on the Starbase for another five days. The crew enjoyed their shore leave while Scotty repaired the ship from the Romulan attack. Although there was plenty to do on the base I had dinner with Spock each night.

While we were docked on the Starbase I ran into Eveline several times. It was clear she was becoming enamored with me however I had my responsibilities. The day we departed Eveline threw her arms around me before I had to board the Enterprise.

Later in the evening I was sitting in my quarters when there was a knock at my door. When I opened the door it was Spock. He asked, “May I come in?”

“Of course Spock,” I replied as I let him in. “How have you been doing lately?”

“I have improved, however, my sleep patterns remain erratic and I find I cannot rid myself of this low feeling.”

I sighed, “Your problem is you probably need to feel a sense of purpose. You’ve been out of commission since the Romulan attack and you’re depressed.”

Spock looked at me quizzically. He raised an eyebrow.

“Look Spock, if I busted my ass in Starfleet to rise to the position of First Officer only to be stuck on my ass for months, tortured relentlessly by my uncle because a Romulan dropped a bomb on me I’d be going through the same thing.”

Spock looked at me strangely.

“Spock, you’re a Vulcan but you’re a human as well. You need to learn to accept both halves of you.”

“Were I a human what would you suggest would solve this problem?”

I paused, “You need a sense of purpose. You said a while ago that you felt like a parasite. I think we should work on getting you back to your post, Commander. As for the problems you’ve been having sleeping, I think even a Vulcan needs to feel safe at night.”

“I do not believe Dr. McCoy will declare me fit for duty until he is certain that what he calls my emotional distress has been resolved.”

“We’ll figure something out, Spock. As for right now do you feel like having dinner?”

“I have found that my appetite has improved to meet the dietary needs of an average Vulcan. I do…” He swallowed. “Feel like eating.”

I nodded. “I’ll put on a Western after dinner.”

Spock and I had dinner in my quarters. It was clear his appetite had returned and he seemed more like himself but he was subdued. We sat at the table after cleaning up from dinner. Spock explained, “Dr. McCoy has stated that my shoulder will not require further surgery.”

“Spock, that’s good news. I’m glad to see if anything your wounds are healing. As for this psychological problem you’re having, we’ll find a way to sort it out.” I paused. “If I never see another Romulan again another day in my life it’ll be too soon.”

“Captain, it is unlikely that you will be able to avoid contact with Romulans for the remainder of your Starfleet career.”

“Thank you Spock.” I smiled. “Oh what the hell, we survived two Romulan attacks within a year of each other. I think there are worse things out there than Romulans.”

“Affirmative Captain.”

“I’m hoping the next time we’re under attack I won’t make the same mistake I made on the planet’s surface.”

“I am alarmed that you are still bothered by that.”

“Spock, you’re not the only person that had issues over the attack that nearly killed you. Everything that happened since the attack has weighed in on me.” I paused. “There were days that if I had five minutes in a windowless room with your uncle the things I would do.”

“I am curious to know more about how humans control their emotions. How did you manage your emotions?”

“Bones told me I should focus on you getting better instead of wasting my energy being furious with your uncle. So I did exactly that, I focused on you getting better instead of dwelling on how angry I was at your uncle. Bones has a certain amount of wisdom in that respect.”

“Agreed. Dr. McCoy’s logic about the situation and direction of your efforts is solid.”

“I agree. Can I ask you something? When that telepath pulled you out of that meltdown, what was that like?”

Spock paused. “It was like being dormant deep inside of a black hole and having somebody reach down to pull you out. At the same time I could see everything that was on her mind and she could see everything that was on mine. It is the side effect of being healed by a telepath.”

“What was on her mind Spock? Would you be willing to tell me?”

Spock looked at me strangely. “She had hoped for affection from you but she could see on my mind the odds of you having a long term relationship.”

“Eveline was a very nice woman but a Starship is no place for someone like her. She deserves to be happy somewhere with someone who’s grounded and stable. I couldn’t drag her around the galaxy with me.”

Spock rested his elbows on the table. “You have often been accused of being married to the Enterprise. You have had romantic opportunities which you have passed up in favor of your position at Starfleet. It is not an accusation without merit.”

“I have my responsibilities, Spock. I made my decisions, I’ve made my commitment to Starfleet and I have to live with it. In a manner of speaking I am married to the Enterprise.”

“Jim, have you forgotten that while I was in Intensive Care I mind melded with you because the ventilator keeping me alive rendered me unable to verbalize.”

“I haven’t forgotten, you were near death and I felt what you were going through. The pain you were in and the fight you were putting up just to stay alive.”

“While you had insight into my mind I had a reciprocal insight into yours. All I could feel from you was terror, exhaustion, devastation, guilt, emptiness. Furthermore, the behavior I have witnessed in you made sense.”

I watched Spock closely trying to gauge what direction he was going in.

Spock continued, “You have refused long term relationships citing your duty to Starfleet taking primacy as your reason. When you have done so your duties were irrelevant. You never pursued a relationship with anyone because it is me you are in love with.”

I was stunned. “You would be correct Spock, how do you feel about that?”

“I suspected it for a long time before I mind melded with you. I only needed the link to confirm what I suspected. While I was in Intensive Care I did experience difficulty keeping myself alive and I did not know how long I could hold on. I am grateful that you were there. At times your presence was what kept me alive.”

My eyes flooded with tears. “It was why I couldn’t leave you.”

“You could not bring yourself to leave the room because you are in love with me.”

“Bones dragged me to a pub but I didn’t stay long. He managed to pull me out of the Vulcan Intensive Care Unit but he couldn’t take my mind off of you.”

“I recall you leaving but returning three point six hours later. I was unaware of where you had gone but when you returned you showed marked signs of affection toward me.”

“While I was at the pub after a long conversation with Scotty, Bones and Uhura I realized I was in love with you. The whole time you were in the hospital I didn’t know what I would do if you had died. When you went missing I had to find you.”

“When you found me in Barstow I was amazed you had found me and relieved that I had lived long enough to see you again. Your affections for me do have a measurable amount of reciprocation on my part.”

I reached out to touch his hair and asked, “May I?” When he nodded I stroked his hair before my hand traveled down to his cheek.

Spock reached up and laid his hand over mine. We leaned toward each other and I held his face as we kissed. It was like a bolt of lightning went through me. I reached up and caressed his ears causing him to shudder.

I leaned closer and Spock stroked my neck as we kissed deeper. After several minutes I pulled away and rested my forehead against Spock’s. I looked deeply into his eyes. He had changed a lot since the Romulan attack. He looked so much older and wiser than before. I had to take in not only how amazing it was that he was alive but that I was an important part of it.

“I’m so glad you’re alive,” I whispered.

“I am not sure that I would be alive if not for you.”

Spock and I sat down on my sofa and I put on another old Western film, Catlow. Spock curled up to me and rested his head in the nape of my neck. He seemed the most at ease I had seen him since his return to the Enterprise.

Halfway through the film Spock fell asleep on my shoulder. After the film was over I fell asleep on the sofa with Spock curled up to me.

The next morning I woke up in time to return to duty with Spock still curled up to me. I felt awful that I had to wake him so I could get ready. I made sure to kiss him before reporting to the bridge. It didn’t occur to me until then that Spock had slept ten hours straight.

The following night Spock was in his quarters and I could hear him moving around. I managed to sleep through the night in spite of Spock’s activity. Over the next couple of nights I noticed that Spock slept soundly when he was in the room with me.

A few days later the Enterprise was assigned a mission that involved a search and rescue of a crashed Klingon ship. At warp speed it would take a day to get to the wreckage but we were the closest Federation ship. None of the Klingon crew had survived but the ship was carrying Federation prisoners. I braced myself for what was to come.

When I got off duty I met up with Spock in my quarters. He was wearing his Starfleet issue black shirt. He looked better rested than he had in months. I asked, “How was your day today Spock?”

“Mostly uneventful Captain,” Spock explained. “I have been meditating to restore control of my emotions. Might I inquire as to the events of your day?”

I looked at him woefully. “We’ve been ordered to a search and rescue of a crashed Klingon ship. The crew is dead but the vessel was carrying Federation prisoners.”

Spock took in a deep breath. ‘When will we be arriving at the crash site?”

“We should get there some time around 1000 hours tomorrow.”

“I regret that if there are any survivors among the prisoners of that ship that our arrival may come too late.”

I shook my head. “We’ll definitely be too late for some of the prisoners but we’re the closest Federation ship to the wreckage.”

Spock looked down.

“You look a lot better than you have in a while.”

“It is the first time in ten months and twenty two days I have slept through the night without waking up. I have more energy than I have had since the Romulan attack however the low feeling remains.”

“You just need a sense of purpose.” I gestured toward his shirt. “I’m looking forward to you being back in blue.”

“Captain, my uniform is being cleaned.”

“I figured. I’ve never known you to wear anything without washing it first.” I sat down at my table. “It’s good to see you’re sleeping better.”

“Thank you.”

“Could I interest you in a game of chess in the rec room?”

“I would be interested.”

Spock followed me down to the rec room where he set up the chess board. We played chess while several crewmen went in and out. A few of them played other board games. Unlike months ago Spock was able to reach up well enough to make his winning move. I never was able to beat Spock at chess.

Later in the evening Spock and I sat in my quarters. We relaxed on the sofa with a movie on. Spock explained, “I notice you have been tense and distracted all evening.”

I took in a deep breath. “I’m concerned about the people aboard that Klingon ship.”

“I understand the cause for your concern. The odds that there will be survivors aboard a crashed ship after one day are approximately…”

“Spock please. I don’t think I could handle any statistics about it. It’s just unfortunate that the nearest Federation ship is a day away. Luckily they crashed just inside Federation territory. If they had been in Klingon space there would be no rescue efforts.”

“I believe I understand, Jim.”

“When Klingons take prisoners it always worries me. They don’t keep prisoners alive without a reason. They’re never humane to their prisoners either.”

“Jim, I am all too aware of what someone with sadistic tendencies in a position of power is capable of.”

I reached over to Spock and stroked his face. For a brief moment Spock looked very relaxed. “I couldn’t tell you what went through my mind when Ashley said you were missing.”

Spock looked at me and I could see the love light in his eyes. “I am forever grateful that you were so thorough in your search for me.”

“I am truly looking forward to having you back on the bridge. I just want you to be well enough to return to duty.”

“I anticipate when I will be cleared to return to duty.” Spock looked up at the clock and said, “It is late and I think I should be returning to my quarters.”

I nodded in agreement. “Good night Spock and get some sleep.”

“I will attempt to Jim.” Spock leaned in and we kissed deeply before he returned to his quarters. After Spock had left I fell asleep on my sofa.

It must have been 0200 when I heard Spock’s voice whispering, “Jim.”

I opened my eyes to see Spock standing over me in his pajamas. It was unlike him to come into my quarters unannounced so I knew something was wrong. “Spock, what’s wrong?”

“Since I departed your quarters I have found myself to have increasing difficulty with sleep. I would like to know if I may,” he paused. “Join you.”

I looked at him amazed. I lifted my blanket and replied, “Come on in, Spock.”

Spock laid down on the sofa next to me. He curled up so that his head rested in the nape of my neck. To put him at ease I stroked Spock’s face and pointed ears. Spock looked up at me and we kissed before he rested his head on me again.

I continually stroked Spock’s hair and ears and eventually he fell asleep. His arm lay in the middle of my chest so I held his hand. I looked him over trying to grasp the full extent of what he had gone through. Spock was still very thin and scarred from what he had been through. His muscle tone hadn’t fully returned yet.

As much trouble as Spock was having with sleep he seemed very peaceful while he was sleeping with me. With Spock looking so serene I eventually fell asleep.


	9. The Arrival

The next morning I was awakened when I was summoned to the bridge. When I arrived at the bridge Chekov announced we had reached the Klingon wreckage sooner than expected.

On the view screen was the Klingon wreckage. When I saw the state of destruction the ship was in I wondered how anyone could be alive aboard that ship. I summoned the away team to the transporter room before running there myself.

Scotty beamed us aboard the Klingon wreckage. Surprisingly the life support systems and gravity were still functional. Bones scanned the area looking for life signs and we followed the tricorder to the bottom of the ship where the brig was located. It was a huge brig for a ship built and operated by a race that didn’t take prisoners.

Bones, Uhura and I found several prisoners however all of them were dead. We found a few Tellarites along with Orions. We scanned each of them for signs of life hoping to find something we hadn’t found before with no luck.

After Bones and I had scanned dozens of prisoners looking for even the faintest sign of life Officer Jackson’s voice came through the communicator. He explained, “I found a survivor. Dr. McCoy, you’d better come quick.”

Bones, Uhura and I locked onto his communicator and ran to where he was. We found him standing over a Vulcan woman lying on the ground bleeding badly. All over her body was the evidence of a recent beating along with stab wounds that were obviously from a Klingon knife. We knelt down next to her and she looked at us gasping for air. We were horrified to see she was very pregnant.

She began speaking in Vulcan. I turned to Uhura and asked, “What is she saying?”

Uhura shook her head frantically, “I was only taught modern Vulcan. That’s Golic Vulcan and the translator isn’t working.”

I met eyes with Bones urgently. Bones returned my gaze like he already knew what I was thinking. I swallowed hard and pulled out my communicator. “Scotty, beam down Mr. Spock.”

“Aye captain,” Scotty agreed.

As I waited for Spock I examined the room to see two of my security officers attempting to resuscitate a Vulcan nearby. As Bones ran over to help one explained, “We lost his pulse.”

“He’s a Vulcan. His heart is where the human liver is.” He moved the officer’s hands from the Vulcan’s solar plexus to the proper location of a Vulcan heart. Bones scanned him with the tricorder, “It’s too late. He’s gone.”

Just then the transporter beam deposited Spock a few feet away. He looked at me quizzically before asking, “You required me?” As soon as Spock saw the Vulcan woman he rushed to her and knelt down in front of her.

Recognizing that Spock is a Vulcan she began to speak to him in Vulcan. He replied in Vulcan and although I didn’t speak the language I caught Spock’s name along with ‘Sarek’ and the words ‘U.S.S. Enterprise.’

I let out a sigh and asked, “What is she saying, Spock?”

“I have asked her to mind meld with me so she can survive her injuries but she has refused because she is exhausting her mental faculties to save her baby. She will deliver shortly,” Spock explained. He said something to her in Vulcan and she shook her head and said something to him.

Spock looked up at us. “I asked her if she could hold on a little longer but she cannot.”

Bones scanned her with the tricorder and explained, “She’s lost a lot of blood. Those Klingons really did a number on her. But her baby is still alive And unscathed.”

A pool of green blood gathered underneath the woman. She spoke in Vulcan and Spock translated for her. “Klingons intercepted us en route to New Vulcan. They murdered my husband. The baby is the very last of him, and I will give her my last.”

Bones and I watched stunned as the Vulcan woman let out a half cry. She pulled herself nearly to a half sitting up position before dropping herself back to the floor. We looked at Spock just in time to see him with a green blood stricken Vulcan newborn girl in his hands.

“My God,” I gasped.

Spock laid the newborn on her mother. He explained something to her as she looked over her baby. No sooner did she look over the baby long enough to see she had survived her hands dropped to her side.

Bones scanned her with the tricorder. He frowned deeply. “She’s gone.”

We all turned our attention to the newborn girl. Spock lifted her up and swaddled her in a piece of fabric Bones had taken from the Mother’s Vulcan robes. Bones continued scanning the other prisoners in the room but they were all dead.

A couple of the engineers who had joined the away team found two humans alive. With the three survivors we beamed back aboard the Enterprise. Spock carried the baby in his arms.

As soon as the transporter beam deposited us, the engineers took the surviving humans to medical bay. Spock stepped off of the platform with the baby in his arms but he stumbled.

Bones grabbed Spock’s upper arm and asked, “Are you all right?”

“I am experiencing slight lightheadedness,” Spock explained.

“Let’s get you to medical bay. And the baby too.”

Bones walked Spock to medical bay while Spock carried the baby. I had to report back to the bridge so I could get us en route to Earth. As soon as I was done on the bridge I went back to medical bay to check on Spock and the survivors.

When I arrived in medical bay the first survivor I saw was a young man with a slight French accent. I introduced myself, “It’s nice to meet you, I’m Captain James T. Kirk of the U.S.S. Enterprise. May I ask what your name is?”

“It is a pleasure Captain, my name is Louis Picard,” he replied. “I was a passenger aboard a ferry ship when we were intercepted by Klingons. I’m from LaBarre, France. I am anxious to get home as soon as possible.”

“We’re going to get you back to Earth as soon as we can. If you are in need of anything let someone know.”

“Seeing the faces of Federation shipmen has been all I could ask for. Thank you Captain.”

I walked over to the other human survivor. She was a woman of similar age as Louis. She was unconscious. When Bones came by I asked, “Bones, how is she?”

“She’s going to make a full recovery, Jim. Apparently she and Louis were engaged to be married before the Klingons cut in,” Bones explained.

“It’s good they both survived.” I paused. “How’s the smallest survivor?”

“I was just about to go check on her.”

I followed Bones to another part of the medical bay where I found Spock sitting in a chair with the Vulcan baby in his arms. She had on a tiny pink Starfleet shirt and was swaddled in a white blanket. Spock held her in one arm so she was facing him with his free hand on her face on the meld points. Nearby was the newborn pram with a pink floral blanket in it.

“That answers my next question,” I noted. “Spock are you all right?”

“Affirmative Jim,” Spock replied. His eyes never left the baby’s face. “I experienced mild lightheadedness, which Dr. McCoy diagnosed as overexertion. He treated it promptly.”

“How’s that baby, Spock?” Bones asked jokingly.

“She understands that her mother is gone and that she is safe with us. She recalls that I was the first person she ever saw and she knows that I am like her. Also, she needs to be fed.”

“I’ll ask the nurse to get her a bottle.”

Bones walked away while I watched Spock with the baby. The baby was raven haired and had the pointed ears and upturned eyebrows which were the signature of Vulcans. She looked Spock in the eyes and didn’t break her gaze. She seemed very peaceful and content for a newborn.

“She’s a beautiful baby,” I noted.

Spock replied, “Vulcan newborns are known for being aesthetically pleasing.”

I held my hands out to her and asked, “May I.” Spock handed the baby to me and I held her for a couple of minutes before she started fussing slightly. I handed her back to Spock and she stopped immediately.

“She sure seems to like you, Spock,” I noted.

“I believe she has become familiar with me.”

Christine came by with a bottle. “Dr. McCoy asked me to feed the baby.”

Spock looked up at Christine and said, “It would be logical to allow me.”

Christine handed Spock the bottle and he fed it to the baby. As the baby fell asleep in Spock’s arms with the bottle in her mouth Christine walked away to tend to other patients.

Spock looked up at me and explained, “It is regrettable that we were only able to save three of the people taken prisoner.”

“I agree, but I’ve discovered the two humans who survived the Klingons were engaged to be married. I’m glad we weren’t too late to save the three people we saved.” I looked at the baby. “I’m glad we weren’t too late to save this little angel.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Illogical Captain. I am familiar with the human notion of angels as celestial beings who never exist in the mortal realm. May I note, that this infant is very much alive?”

I smiled, “You’re a logical man, Spock.” Through the intercom I was summoned back to the bridge. I looked at Spock and said, “I know you’re still a little unwell but I’m glad you were there today.” After a kiss I returned to the bridge.

When I returned to my quarters that evening it wasn’t five minutes before someone knocked at my door. When I opened the door it was Louis who we’d rescued from the Klingon ship. “Captain,” he greeted.

“It’s Louis, right?” I asked. “Come in. How can I help you?”

Louis walked into my quarters and asked, “You told me if we needed help I could ask.”

“You heard correct.”

“Dominique and I have been engaged for five years. All of our family and friends passed away aboard the Klingon ship. When we return to Earth we are hoping for the chance to begin a new life. People aboard the ship insist that a Captain of a Starship has one happy privilege.”

“Are you asking me to officiate your marriage?”

“With all due respect, Sir, it would be a great honor to have the Captain of the Enterprise.”

I smiled widely. “I would be honored.”

“Thank you, Captain.” He smiled. “Now I’m going to give Dominique the good news.”

“Just ask her when and I’ll be glad to oblige.” No sooner did I say that I heard what sounded like a baby. I was perplexed. “If you’ll excuse me, I have something to check on.”

Louis smiled ear to ear before heading back to medical bay where his fiancé was still hospitalized. Since Spock’s quarters were adjacent to mine I walked over and knocked on his door. “Spock, it’s me.”

“Come in Jim.”

I walked in to find Spock in one of his meditative poses. To my great surprise he held the Vulcan baby in his lap. She was sitting upright while Spock supported her head and shoulders with his hands. She appeared to be nodding off to sleep.

“Spock, what are you doing with her?” I almost chuckled a little.

“Dr. M’Benga gave me permission to keep her with me. Dr. McCoy has not released me for duty and I see no reason I cannot care for her. It would be illogical to keep her in medical bay where the medical staff has other matters to attend and she could be exposed to infectious disease.”

I smiled. “Are you teaching her to meditate? She’s a little young, don’t you think?”

“I am teaching her to go into a sleep trance. It is a very effective way of teaching Vulcan infants to relax effectively and sleep restfully. Vulcan newborns can learn this on the day of their birth.”

“You seem to have really taken to her.” I then noticed the newborn pram from medical bay sitting in a corner of Spock’s room.

“We are members of an endangered species. I have many reasons for wanting to assure her well-being.”

“I understand.”

Spock got up from his meditative pose and wrapped her in a white blanket. He cradled her as she clutched one of his fingers. She fell asleep in Spock’s arms. He whispered, “It may take a couple of nights to teach her to go into a sleep trance.”

No sooner did he say that, Bones walked in. He explained, “I just talked to Dr. M’Benga, this I had to see.” Bones looked over Spock with the baby and smiled from ear to ear. “Spock, I didn’t know you had it in you.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. He whispered, “She is a Vulcan. Surely I am aware of how to care for an infant Vulcan.”

“Well you’re certainly effective at that.” Bones smiled at the baby. “She is so pretty.”

“Why thank you Doctor.”

Bones shook his head. “I should head back to medical bay. When I heard you wanted to take care of the baby I had to see it for myself.”

As soon as Bones left Spock laid her down in the pram and covered her with the pink blanket. He turned to me and asked, “Jim, in light of the recent expansion of my responsibilities, would you like to remain here for the night?”

“Would you also like for me to help with your little bundle of joy?”

“Unnecessary Captain, teaching her to go into a sleep trance has not been a challenge. She has an amazing capacity to learn. She may awaken once but I do not believe she will disturb you for the duration of the night.”

I smiled. “I wouldn’t mind at all. Let me go to my quarters and change.” I looked at the baby sleeping in the pram before I went back to my quarters. I showered and changed into pajamas before returning to Spock’s quarters.

We settled onto Spock’s couch and watched an old science fiction movie. I fell asleep on the sofa with Spock curled up to me. Once during the night Spock had to get up to tend to the baby. Other than that the baby slept soundly.


	10. Reign O'er Me

The following week the woman we had rescued from the Klingon ship was discharged from medical bay. The couple insisted on being married that day. When I asked why they didn’t want to wait the response was, “We’ve been waiting for five years.”

Before the wedding was to begin in the ship’s chapel I joined Spock in his quarters as he cared for the baby. “How are you and the baby, Spock?” I asked.

“She has made progress in her ability to go into a sleep trance,” Spock explained. “I do not believe she will wake up during the night any longer.”

“Spock, she’ll probably be the first soundly sleeping newborn I’ve ever seen.”

“Affirmative. May I point out the contradiction of the human proverb of ‘sleeping like a baby?’ It is illogical since human babies rarely sleep through the night.”

“You’re a logical man, Spock.”

“Why thank you.”

“Will you be attending the wedding?”

“Affirmative, due to my responsibilities the baby will have to accompany me.”

“You know Spock, I’m getting sick of calling her ‘the baby.’ She needs a name.”

“Vulcan babies rarely go so many days without being given a name. It is undignified. I have considered giving her a name.”

“Bones suggested Hope or Faith given the circumstances of her birth.”

“I must decline both suggestions. She is a Vulcan. She should be given a Vulcan name.”

“Do you have anything in mind?”

“Yes. I have considered naming her after the wife of Surak. As I recall, Vulcan history states her name was Saavik.”

“I think that’s a beautiful name.” I paused. “Spock, what is the plan for baby Saavik? Are you planning on keeping her around? She sure does seem to like you.”

“Saavik has formed a bond with me as Vulcan infants do form bonds with their parents and caretakers. However, as you know so well a starship is no place for a child.”

“You’re right.” I looked at Saavik’s raven hair and pointed ears. “It would be nice to raise her but she deserves to grow up on a planet with other children. Where she can run around and play like a normal child.”

“I have spoken with my Father about her future. He has assisted in finding her parents on New Vulcan who will commit to raising her. He has agreed to rendezvous with us on Earth to receive her when we return the Picards.” Spock wrapped her in her little white blanket.

“Sounds like a plan.” I looked at the clock. “I don’t mean to interrupt but we have a wedding to attend. Make sure baby Saavik doesn’t make too much noise.”

Spock and I walked to the ship’s chapel so I could officiate the wedding of Louis and Dominique. The only people in attendance were myself, Bones, Scotty, Robert Jackson, Chekov, Uhura, Spock, and Saavik.

Louis and Dominique stood at the altar wearing Starfleet dress uniforms that had been given to them. Scotty wore his kilt and Scottish wear. All of the officers in attendance did the same. Sulu had given Dominique flowers from the botany lab to wear in her hair.

I stood behind the altar and began, “As a captain of a starship I’m given many responsibilities, but one happy privilege; the privilege of joining two people who will dedicate their lives to one another. I would like to note that the joining of Dominique and Louis is truly a privilege. The story that has led them here is a story of the triumph of spirit and the will of two people to survive. Above all their story is a testament to how strong and enduring love truly is.”

I looked at the couple who were beaming as they stared at each other. I looked at everyone in attendance. They all smiled widely with the exception of Spock. I could still see a sparkle in his eyes as he looked at me. I continued. “Without further a due, dearly beloved, we are gathered here this day in the presence of these witnesses to celebrate the joining of these two people in holy matrimony. Dominique, do you take this man Louis to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” she cooed.

I turned to Louis, “Louis, do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” he smiled widely.

“As Captain of the Starship U.S.S. Enterprise it is my honor to declare you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride.”

I couldn’t help but smile widely as Dominque and Louis kissed. As soon as they departed the chapel they headed to the rec room. I walked up to Spock and smiled at him. He returned one of his half smiles as his face blushed slightly green. “Would you care to join the festivities in the rec room Spock?”

“I shall Jim. Would you mind taking Saavik for a moment?” Spock replied. He handed Saavik to me and surprisingly she didn’t fuss at all. After a moment she reached up and tried to touch my face.

“She’s not crying. Usually she doesn’t like being held by anyone except you,” I noted.

“She is aware of who I am and she is aware that you are very important to me. She will allow you to hold her.” Spock fixed his uniform before he took Saavik back from me. We joined everyone in the rec room to celebrate the wedding.

I sat next to Spock at one of the tables while he gave Saavik a bottle. There were about fifteen crewmembers in the rec room. Everyone circulated around congratulating the happy couple and also fawning over baby Saavik.

“I have to say Spock, looking at those two, it’s given me a renewed sense of hope,” I smiled widely. “They were captured by Klingons and survived five years in a brig and now look at them, happy newly-weds.”

“I agree. It is pleasing that they both survived the Klingons.”

Just then Dominique approached Spock and looked at Saavik. “She has your ears.”

“They are the trademark of Vulcans,” Spock explained.

Dominique tickled Saavik before she announced. “Louis and I have resolved that if we ever have a son we are going to name him Robert, after the crewmember who rescued us.”

“Robert Picard, that has a ring to it. I like it,” I replied.

“Thank you, Captain.” Dominique walked away to join the party while Spock and I stayed at the table. Saavik relaxed in Spock’s arms.

I sipped a brandy and gestured toward the happy couple. “You know Spock, love is wonderful. It’s one of the only things worth having and one of the only things worth fighting for.”

“As one of your poets, Oscar Wilde stated, ‘the mysteries of love outweigh the mysteries of death.’ Given what I have gathered from my recent experiences it is quite logical, Jim.”

I leaned over, cupped Spock’s cheek with my hand and kissed him deeply. Spock reached up with his free hand and held my cheek. I heard Bones’s Southern drawl, “Well I’ll be damned.”

I looked up at Bones and my face flushed bright red. Scotty was standing next to him with a glass of scotch in his hand. Scotty looked like he was choking down laughter and said, “Well what do you know?”

“I guess you had to find out sometime,” I shrugged.

Bones tried not to laugh and said, “Jim, I’ve known for quite a while.”

“What prevented you from inquiring with either of us what the status of our relationship was?” Spock asked.

“I figured I’d give you some space and you’d let me know when the time came.” Bones sat down across from us. “You should have seen what it took for me to drag him away from you while you were hospitalized.”

“I am aware of the effort required to persuade Jim to leave my bedside. He was very emotional and you were trying to distract him in an attempt to as humans put it, ‘put his mind at ease’ even if only temporarily.”

Scotty raised his glass and joked, “I now pronounce you Captain and First Officer. Oh we’re happy for you.”

Bones and I snickered at Scotty while Spock just smiled halfway. Bones held his hands out to Saavik and asked, “May I?”

“By all means Doctor. May I warn you that Saavik can be unpredictable when held by a stranger?” Spock handed Saavik to Bones. Bones held Saavik so her head rested on his shoulder.

I half expected Saavik to cry but she only fussed a little bit. I reached out and rubbed her back and said, “It’s all right.”

Bones looked at her, “You’re a perfect little girl aren’t you?”

“Affirmative Doctor,” Spock added. “As you are aware, Saavik is free of birth defects and other illnesses.”

“So that’s what you’ve decided to call her? Saavik.”

“Obviously Doctor, since that is what I have been addressing her as.”

A hint of annoyance crossed Bones’s face before turning his attention back to Saavik. Bones joked, “Since you brought this little bundle of joy maybe you should consider a father-daughter dance.”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Really Doctor?”

I looked at Spock who returned my gaze. Although he hid it I could see him giving me a look of love. I held his hand.

Scotty joked, “I don’t suppose senior officers dance?”

I looked at my glass. “I’m not sure how much I’d like to dance in front of my crew.”

“I have noticed that at all celebrations crewmembers anticipate the departure of the senior officers,” Spock noted. “I surmise that they like to as humans put it, ‘cut loose’ and do not want to be seen lacking decorum in front of their superiors. It is logical.”

“You’re right, Spock,” Bones nodded.

“I was the same way when I was a junior engineer,” Scotty added. “I didn’t mind donning my kilt like a proper Scotsman, but I laid off the scotch around my chief engineer.”

“You are most logical, Mr. Scott,” Spock noted. “Jim, may I suggest that we depart early? We should allow the crewmembers to enjoy themselves in our absence and I must assure that Saavik gets an adequate amount of sleep.”

“Mr. Spock if you don’t mind, may I have a turn with the wee lass before you turn in for the night?” Scotty asked.

Spock looked at Bones. “If Dr. McCoy would not mind.”

“Oh I wouldn’t mind at all,” Bones handed Saavik to Scotty. She stirred when Bones handed her away but not for long. Scotty cradled Saavik. “Oh, what a pretty lass you are.”

Saavik nodded off to sleep in Scotty’s arms. Noticing she was asleep Scotty noted, “The wee darling. She must be pretty tired.”

“I believe she has successfully gone into a sleep trance,” Spock agreed. “If you will excuse me, gentlemen. I believe I should return to my quarters with Saavik.”

Scotty handed Saavik back to Spock and the two of us said goodnight to everyone before we headed back to Spock’s quarters.

When we got back to Spock’s quarters he put Saavik back in the pram and wrapped the blanket a little tighter around her. I relaxed on Spock’s sofa slightly tipsy from the brandy I had been drinking.

Spock watched Saavik before explaining, “I have no reason to believe she will disturb either of us during the night. She has successfully put herself into a sleep trance.”

“Terrific. I should congratulate you Spock, you taught a week old baby to sleep through the night.”

“Thank you Jim. May I compliment you on the success of the ceremony? You were most well-spoken, and I do believe that Louis and Dominique were pleased with your words.”

I smiled widely. “Thank you. I have to say it is a privilege to be able to marry people. It’s definitely one of the perks of being a Starship captain.”

“Agreed, Jim.”

I watched as Spock took off his uniform and hung it neatly in his closet. I couldn’t help but enjoy watching him undress. He had regained some of his muscle tone but scars from the bomb and the surgeries that followed remained. Spock looked at the scars on his chest and stomach. All painful reminders of the debris that had pierced most of his organs nearly killing him.

I got up, walked over to him and ran my hands along his back and shoulders. “You still have some scars.”

He ran his hand over some of the scars before replying, “Obviously, if I may quote an old Earth proverb, scars have the power to remind us that the past is real.”

I let out a sigh and looked down. “The Romulan attack was real. What your Uncle and his family did was real.”

Spock turned and looked at me. “As was the amount of time you held vigil over me in Intensive Care. Also the exhaustive search you performed after I was abducted and the time and effort you contributed to assisting my recovery.”

I smiled widely. “You’re right Spock.”

Spock took his pajamas out of his closet before he suggested, “Jim, might I recommend that you retrieve your pajamas?”

“I prefer to sleep in my undergarments anyway. And I stay plenty warm with someone else in bed with me.”

“I have noticed. I have also noted that you seem to prefer to occupy the sofa at night instead of the bed.”

“I think the sofa is more comfortable. And it’s not as narrow as the bed.”

Spock raised an eyebrow before pulling his pajamas over his head.

“Spock, can I ask you something?”

“Yes Jim.”

“When Vulcans marry, what are the customs? Are they a lot like human marriages?”

We sat down on the sofa. “Vulcan marriages are not unlike human marriages. They involve two people pledging themselves to one another for the remainder of their natural life. However when Vulcans marry they form a bond through a mind link which once in place cannot be broken. When you bond with a Vulcan you are bonded for life.”

“So Vulcans don’t divorce?”

“It is unnecessary. Vulcan spouses are always aware of what the other is thinking and feeling. It draws them closer and allows them to share positive feelings and experiences. But if one is feeling ill or sad the other is aware of it. It is not unlike the mind meld I performed on you while I was hospitalized. I was near death and you could feel it.”

I let out a sigh remembering how it felt when Spock was in hospital.

“I have put a great deal of consideration into forming such a bond with you and I wish to do so. However I would have to be assured that it is what you want as well.”

“Are you asking me to marry to you, Mr. Spock?”

“I believe I am Jim. We are compatible bond mates. The support you have given me has gotten me through trying times.”

“Of course, Spock. It’s what I’ve wanted for a while.” We leaned toward each other and when our lips met I felt a bolt of lightning go through me. I cupped Spock’s face before my hand traveled up and stroked his ears causing him to shudder.

Spock inched closer to me and ran his hands along my neck. I put my arms around him and held him close. He broke the kiss and looked at me.

“Spock,” I gasped.

“Jim.” He looked me in the eyes.

I held Spock tighter than I had ever held anyone before. “I love you.”

“Love you too.”

I held him close for a few more minutes taking in the departure we had just taken. I broke the embrace and asked, “Spock, are you going to tell your Father?”

“Due to the bond formed between Vulcan children and their parents he already knows. I was able to ascertain that he was aware of my fondness for you before it came to fruition.”

“When you were in the hospital he mentioned that you were fond of me. I didn’t think that far into it.” Spock laid his head on me and I wrapped my arms around him. “Spock, can I ask you something? This Vulcan marital mind link. Does it work with humans?”

“My Father created a successful mind link with my Mother, however we may require the assistance of a telepath. Some humans may find a mind link intrusive as you are never truly away from your spouse.”

I shrugged, “I can deal with that. When are we ever physically apart anyway?”

“Your logic is sound.”

“I always pictured if I were to get engaged I’d be the one to ask.” I ran my fingers through Spock’s hair. “I should get you a ring.”

“A human custom, I understand. Perhaps I will do the same for you.”

“So do we have a ceremony? If we do, who would we invite?”

“In light of the fact that we are not both Vulcans, I see no need for the Vulcan tradition of weddings. Vulcan females can choose to have their mates fight to the death for them. I do not wish to partake in such a tradition.”

“Sounds brutal. I should like to opt out as well.”

“Due to the personal nature of a mind link, it would be advisable that a ceremony be minimal. I am certain our parents should be in attendance and perhaps a couple of our friends.”

“My mother is nowhere, to hell with my stepfather. Maybe just your Father, your Aunt and Uncle, my brother, and a couple of friends. Spock, if you were to initiate a mind meld with me would it be like a marital bond?”

“I could initiate a mind meld but it would not contain the depth or efficacy of a marital bond. It would give you an idea of what a marital bond would feel like.”

“Do it then.”

Spock sat up and placed his fingers in the meld points on my face. As soon as he initiated the meld I could see everything that was on his mind and I could tell he could see everything on my mind. I could see the love he had for me, the reverence he had for me as his Captain. I saw how shocked he was after the Romulan bomb exploded next to him. I saw how terrified he was while hospitalized and how glad he was that I was there. I could also see how much pain and terror he experienced in Barstow and how relieved he was when we found him. Also how grateful he was that Bones and I were willing to assist his recovery as difficult as it was

When Spock ended the meld he looked at me knowingly. “If we were to have a marital bond it would be like this only deeper and more intense. As a married couple it would also draw us closer together.”

“I can deal with that.” Spock rested his head on my shoulder and I stroked his hair. “I’m a little nervous about facing your Father while on Earth. He’s coming to receive Saavik, isn’t he?”

“Indeed he is. I do not anticipate he will react badly. If I am familiar with human emotions surrounding engagements I believe that as you call it ‘facing the in-laws’ is the most difficult part.”

I nodded. “You’re right. Once we’re on Earth I’ll just get this over with.”

“If I may Jim, while we are on Earth since we have shore leave I should like to visit my Aunt. She resides in Eastern Connecticut, a location I think you will find most pleasing.”

“Absolutely, I think sometime I’d like to visit San Francisco.”

“San Francisco?” Spock asked quizzically.

I let out a sigh. “The last time you and I were in San Francisco we were in a hospital room for weeks. I figure maybe we’ll go back and see the sights. I think I might like to visit Haight-Ashbury.”

“I would be receptive to the prospect of visiting Haight-Ashbury however I would like to know if you would require that I wear a peasant shirt.”

I laughed, “I wouldn’t mind seeing you in one.”

We both spread out on the sofa and Spock curled up next to me. Like always he laid his head on my shoulder while his hand rested on my chest.


	11. Anyway The Wind Blows

When we arrived on Earth I allowed the crew to take their shore leave. I had Scotty beam Spock and I down to Eastern Connecticut with Saavik so we could visit Spock’s Aunt.

When we arrived in Connecticut it was late afternoon. Scotty managed to beam us down to the driveway on the property. Ashley Grayson’s home was in a rural setting. Her driveway was unpaved and a white fence encircled the property.

Ashley’s home was surrounded by woods and the side of the property led down to a lake that extended to the back of the property. As we approached the house I looked around, “It’s really beautiful out here.”

“I thought you would find the setting pleasing,” Spock agreed.

I looked at the baby. “It’s nice Saavik has the chance to get some fresh air.”

“Agreed, Jim. I regret she has been consigned to the life support systems of starships since her birth. May I remind you this is her first time on a planet’s surface?”

Ashley Grayson’s house was a two story yellow house with white shutters. Several flower pots sat in front of the house along with windchimes and suncatchers.

Ashley was in the front yard water one of the flower pots. As soon as she saw us she covered her face in surprise before walked up to Spock.

“Spock,” she gasped in disbelief.

“Aunt Ashley,” Spock replied.

Ashley reached up and laid her hand on Spock’s face before he laid his free hand on top of hers. She nearly started crying. “I can’t believe it. I haven’t seen you since before…” Before she could finish she looked at Saavik and said, “Who is this? Is she…”

“She is a Vulcan. We rescued her from a Klingon ship.”

“This is her first time on a planet surface. She’s spent her whole life on starships,” I added.

Ashley looked at me and smiled. “James, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be so rude. Why don’t you both come in?” Ashley led us inside to her kitchen where she sat us down at her kitchen table which was covered with a yellow floral tablecloth. “Can I get either of you anything?”

“No thank you,” Spock replied.

“If I could trouble you for a glass of water that would be nice,” I replied.

Ashley handed me a glass of water and I thanked her before she sat at the table with a cup of coffee in her hands. “I’d like to know how the two of you have been doing.”

“We’ve been good,” I explained.

“I am well, thank you.” Spock added.

“How long are the two of you going to be here?” Ashley asked.

“We have about a week of shore leave.”

“If you would like to stay here that’s perfectly fine. I have plenty of room.”

I smiled and looked at Spock who returned my gaze, “If it’s all the same to you.”

“It would be greatly appreciated as we would not have to return to the ship. I hope we will not pose a burden,” Spock explained.

“You’re never a burden, Spock. You’re my nephew.”

“Where is Uncle Jeff?”

“He’s helping his friend with his horses. He’ll be back later.”

“I would like to know how you have been since you recovered from Tholian Flu.” Although Spock did what he could to hide it he was happy to see Ashley.

“We’ve been doing fine. We were both hospitalized for a month or so. Jeff recovered just fine  
but once I was discharged it took a while before I regained all of my lung capacity. I’ve been quite well since then,” Ashley explained. “I’d like to know what you’ve been doing since your return to the Enterprise.”

Spock looked at me. “Jim and the Enterprise’s chief medical officer, Dr. McCoy, were instrumental in my recovery from my injuries. I required months of physical therapy to rebuild my wasted body. Dr. McCoy and Jim were instrumental in this.”

Ashley looked at me. “I can’t tell you how relieved I was when you told me you had found him. When I heard he was signed out of the McAuliffe Center I knew my brother was behind it.”

Spock looked down. “I am afraid it has been difficult since then. Dr. McCoy has not declared me fit for duty yet.”

“You’ll be all right,” Ashley sighed. “Well enough about that.” She turned her attention to Saavik. “What about this little one?”

Spock looked at her and said, “I have decided to call her Saavik.”

“A couple of weeks ago we were sent to rescue prisoners aboard a crashed Klingon ship,” I explained. “The entire crew died but there were still prisoners alive. We found two humans along with this little girl’s mother.”

“When we found her Mother she was badly injured and in labor,” Spock elaborated. “No sooner was Saavik born her mother succumbed to her injuries. Once aboard the Enterprise I elected to care for her myself. She is a Vulcan and so I would be best suited to care for her. Due to being out of commission I have no other responsibilities.”

“May I hold her?” Ashley asked.

Spock handed Saavik to Ashley. She cradled Saavik in her arms. “Are you keeping her?”

“My Father has assisted in finding suitable parents for her on New Vulcan. I am planning on handing her to him while here on Earth before we return to the Enterprise. I have much to discuss with him.”

“Sarek was worried about you, even if he hides it. I’m sure he’s going to want reassurance that you’re all right aboard the Enterprise.”

“There is another matter I have to discuss with him. It is a matter that requires I discuss it with you as well.”

Ashley looked at him interested. Spock looked at me for reassurance. “Aunt Ashley, I have asked Jim to marry me. He has accepted.”

Ashley perked up. “That is wonderful news. When do you plan on…”

“We do not know but I would like to know if you and Uncle Jeff would like to be in attendance when the time comes.”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.” Ashley turned to me. While she cradled Saavik in one arm she laid her hand on top of mine and said, “It will be wonderful to add you to the family.”

“Thank you,” I replied. “I’m hoping Sarek will take this well.”

Spock looked at me and added, “Jim, he already knows.”

“Not to be forward, Spock, but didn’t your Father arrange to have you married to a Vulcan girl?” Ashley asked.

“The woman I was betrothed to did not survive the destruction of Vulcan.”

“All right.” Saavik fussed in Ashley’s arms and she handed her back to Spock. “She needs a change. Why don’t you go clean her up and then we’ll go outside to the water.”

Spock took Saavik from Ashley and got up to go change her. As soon as Spock walked away Ashley turned to me and asked, “How has he been since he’s been back aboard the Enterprise? I know he won’t be completely honest about how he’s feeling.”

“He’s been doing as good as can be expected. Not to say there haven’t been setbacks but he’s back on his feet,” I explained. “We’re hoping he’ll be fit for duty soon.”

Ashley smiled warmly and took my hand. “I’m so glad he met you. He’s needed someone like you for so long.”

“When you saw me at Zefram Cochrane Medical Center how did you know I had feelings for him?”

“I saw the way you looked at him while he was hospitalized and I could tell. I knew for a while beforehand that Spock had feelings for you but like all emotion he mutes it.”

“It took me a while to realize it myself. When I had to depart Earth without him I felt a sting every time I looked at his chair and he wasn’t in it.”

“I was so grateful that you stood by him the way you did. You never even left the room.”

I smiled.

Spock returned with Saavik and the three of us went outside with the baby. We went down by the water where Ashley had several chairs. We sat by the lake while Saavik relaxed in Spock’s arms. It was one of the most peaceful places I’d been in a while.

“It’s really nice out here,” I breathed deeply. “It’s quiet.”

“Thank you,” Ashley replied. “If the two of you want to spend your next shore leave here you’re more than welcome just let me know in advance.”

“Thank you Aunt,” Spock replied. “It is appreciated.” He pulled a blanket around Saavik and she looked him in the eyes.

The four of us relaxed by the lake for a while until Ashley’s husband arrived home. Like Ashley he was overjoyed to see Spock. After dinner we spent more time by the lake before heading to bed. It was the first time I shared a larger bed with Spock.

As we settled in for the night I noted to Spock, “Your Aunt and Uncle have been nice.”

“As I believe you humans say they are ‘good people.’” Spock knelt by the window in his meditative pose with Saavik in his hands. Once she nodded off to sleep Spock laid her in an old cradle Ashley provided. Spock looked at Saavik for a moment before he climbed into bed.

“I’m glad they approve,” I smiled. I looked at Saavik and smiled. “Looking at her I’m glad we do what we do. Risk is our business but life is our reward. Maybe the Picards will tell their kids and grandkids stories of getting rescued from Klingons. Hell, maybe one of these days there’ll be a Picard in Starfleet.”

“I agree. I must admit I am looking forward to the future the Picards may have.”

I laid flat on my back and Spock curled up to me and laid his head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed his forehead. Spock stretched one of his arms around me before we both nodded off to sleep.

When I woke up the next morning Spock had already taken Saavik downstairs. I found Spock in the kitchen with Ashley while she gave Saavik a bath in the sink. Spock stood nearby watching.

Spock explained to Ashley, “For reasons I have been unable to surmise, she has a habit of reaching for my face when I hold her.”

“That’s how Vulcan babies try to make a connection with their caregivers. By touching the psi points on your face,” Ashley explained. “You used to do that when you were her age. Your Father had to explain to me why you did that.”

They both noticed I was there and looked at me. “Good morning, James,” Ashley smiled.

“Did you sleep adequately?” Spock asked.

“I slept great,” I replied as I stretched. “It looks like it’s a beautiful morning.”

“I thought you and Spock might like to go to the farmers’ market with Jeff for some groceries,” Ashley cooed.

I nodded in agreement. Spock turned to Ashley and asked, “It would be logical for us to accompany Uncle Jeff to the farmers’ market. I find it necessary to purchase provisions for the baby. Aunt Ashley if it would not be an inconvenience…”

“Not at all. I’ll watch the baby while you two go with your Uncle.” Ashley washed Saavik’s hair and ears. “It’s been a long time since I’ve cared for a tiny little baby with tiny little pointed ears. I have fond memories.”

I tried to suppress a small snicker but couldn’t. Spock remained stoic but I detected a faint green blush. Ashley dried Saavik with a beige towel before dressing her. Ashley wrapped Saavik in a couple of blankets. “Snug as a bug.” She turned to us. “Now go help your Uncle.”

Spock and I accompanied Jeff to the farmers’ market to pick up some groceries along with provisions for the baby. When we got back Ashley was making pancakes for lunch while Saavik slept in a cradle in the living room.

I turned to Spock and noted, “If there’s one thing I love about being on Earth it’s the food.”

“I find that fresh air is novel when you have been relying on the life support systems of a Starship,” Spock added.

“There’s plenty of good air around these parts,” Jeff added. “Out here you’re in God’s country.”

I nodded in agreement. Shortly after lunch Spock got a message from Sarek stating that he was coming to Connecticut to meet with us. When Spock relayed the message to me I joked, “Time to face the in laws.”

Later in the afternoon we were in the living room with Ashley and Jeff when there was a knock at the door. When Ashley answered the door it was Ambassador Sarek and his assistant.

Spock and I both stood up when Sarek walked in as did Jeff. Sarek looked at Ashley stoically and greeted with a Vulcan salute. “Ashley.”

Ashley tried to return the Vulcan salute with no success. “It’s good to see you, Sarek.”

Sarek signaled his assistant to leave before the assistant disappeared into a transporter beam. As he walked into the living room Ashley invited, “Sarek, why don’t you sit down?”

Sarek sat down in one of the chairs while Spock and I occupied the couch. Jeff and Ashley went into the kitchen. Sarek gave me the Vulcan salute and greeted, “Captain Kirk.”

“Ambassador Sarek,” I returned the salute.

“I am pleased to find both of you well. It appears you have been taking good care of the infant.”

“My efforts have proven adequate given my inexperience in the care of an infant,” Spock explained. “She has shown a great capacity to learn. I was able to teach her to go into a sleep trance on her third day.”

“Parents of all species experience such with their offspring. Very well done Spock. What have you decided to name her?”

“I have decided to call her Saavik.”

“I am certain her parents will be very pleased with your choice of name. It is a coveted name on New Vulcan.” Sarek looked at us suspiciously. “Is there any other matter you wish to discuss with me?”

Spock looked at me for reassurance. He took a long pause before explaining, “I have asked Captain Kirk to marry me. He has accepted.”

“You choose your companions well, Spock. Are you going to perform the Vulcan tradition of marriage?”

“We plan on forming a marital bond as all Vulcans do, however I believe the assistance of a telepath would be required.”

“Your meld capabilities are comparable to my own. I was able to form a marital bond with your Mother without the assistance of a telepath. It proved to be a successful bond.”

Spock took a very long pause. “If I may, were you aware when Mother passed away?”

“I was aware the very second her life ended.” Sarek’s voice became raspy.

I looked at Spock waiting for some kind of response from him. Sarek looked at me and asked, “Captain Kirk, you are still on your five year mission?”

“We are. Afterward we may be assigned to another five year mission.”

“Is there any risk one of you may be reassigned to another starship?”

“Starfleet has regulations that forbid separating married couples against their will. Unless Spock chooses to take command of his own vessel we’ll always be aboard the same ship.”

“I am certain Spock has explained to you that once a marital bond is in place it cannot be broken. I would hope that you would resolve to stay on the same ship together. If one of you were to fall ill or to die the other would be aware.”

“Spock explained that part to me, I understand Ambassador.”

“Very well. I am grateful for your dedication and your resolve. If I may reiterate, Spock chooses his companions well.”

“Thank you ambassador.”

“I would like to request that your joining be overseen by T’Pau of Vulcan, as she is the head of the Vulcan high council. She is here on Earth addressing an unrelated matter. It would be logical to ask her to oversee your marriage while she is on Earth.”

“Thank you Father,” Spock added.

Sarek stood up and explained, “Spock, may I speak privately with you?”

Spock got up and handed Saavik to me. He followed Sarek outside while I remained in the living room. I got up and joined Ashley and Jeff in the kitchen. They looked at me strangely and I explained, “Sarek asked for a word with Spock.”

“No doubt to talk with him about the news,” Ashley nodded.

I sat down at the table. Shortly afterward Spock walked back inside and met us in the kitchen. Spock sat down at the table and took Saavik from me. I looked at him and asked, “So what did your Dad have to say?”

“Father explained to me how to form a marital bond with a human without the assistance of a telepath. Aside from that he is asking that we marry while here on Earth before we return to our mission lest we lack the opportunity at a later time.”

I snickered. “I always had a feeling I was going to end up having a shotgun wedding.”

“That is illogical as there are no firearms involved.”

Ashley and Jeff both started laughing. Jeff asked, “Where is your Father now?”

“He has returned to his ship to contact T’Pau.”

“Why didn’t he just take Saavik with him since he’s here for her?” I asked.

“He stated that he will refrain from taking her until he is ready to return to New Vulcan.”

“All right. Well whenever T’Pau wants to do this we’ll do this.”

“Who else do you plan on having besides us and Sarek?” Ashley asked.

“Since Vulcan weddings are minimal I was thinking maybe just Bones and Scotty. If it’s going to be this week my brother won’t be able to make it. Sam and his fiancé are on Deneva.”

“My regrets Jim.”

“It’s not your fault Spock, it’s the price you pay for being in Starfleet. But we’ll be together.”

The following day later in the afternoon Sarek arrived at Ashley’s home with T’Pau. Since the head of the Vulcan High Council was present I made a point to wear my Starfleet uniform.

I had Scotty beam himself and Bones down. To prepare for the occasion Bones wore his Starfleet dress uniform and Scotty donned his kilt. With no one present but Sarek, Spock’s Aunt and Uncle and our two closest friends we were married in his Aunt’s backyard. Spock initiated the mind link which would bond us forever. At first it was a little disconcerting but it didn’t take me long to adjust.

After we were married T’Pau quickly returned to where she was staying while everyone else stayed behind at Ashley and Jeff’s home. Spock and I relaxed on the front porch with Bones, Scotty, Ashley, Jeff and Sarek. Saavik relaxed in Spock’s arms.

“I’m really glad you found each other,” Ashley noted.

“Me too,” Bones added. He looked around at the woods. “It’s really nice out here.”

“Remind you of home, Bones?” Scotty joked.

“Actually yes.”

After Scotty and Bones left Spock and I went back to the room we had been sharing since our arrival on Earth. As soon as Spock put Saavik to bed I said, “I was half expecting your Father to flip when you told him.”

“Illogical Jim. My Father has no history in Terran gymnastics.” Spock climbed into bed and curled up to me. “I am grateful he was supportive. He found out I was drawn to you when he mind melded with me while I was hospitalized.”

“I’m glad he was supportive too. I’m glad I found you.” I kissed the top of Spock’s head.

“Likewise Jim.”

I pondered what the future held for us. We would be back aboard the Enterprise by the end of the week. I fell asleep with Spock curled up to me.

The day Spock and I were due to beam aboard the Enterprise Sarek came out to Ashley and Jeff’s home. We said our goodbyes to Ashley and Jeff and thanked them emphatically before we met with Sarek in front of the house.

Sarek greeted us with a Vulcan salute. “Captain Kirk. Spock.”

I returned the Vulcan salute. “Ambassador.”

“I hope you will be safe during your mission. A five year mission indicates you will be traveling uncharted space.”

“We will Father,” Spock reassured him. “Now to attend to matters. I hope she will be taken care of on New Vulcan.”

“She will have a typical Vulcan upbringing. I am hoping she will attend the Vulcan Science Academy someday given her capacity to learn you speak of. There are so few of us left, New Vulcan needs children.”

Spock handed Saavik to Sarek. It then occurred to me that he was not going to be handing her back. Knowing this I touched her little hand and said, “Godspeed Saavik.”

Sarek departed with a Vulcan salute and the words, “Live long and prosper.”

We returned the salute and Sarek was beamed aboard his own ship. I turned to Spock and said, “I’m going to miss her.”

“Jim, Saavik has formed a bond with both of us, as Vulcan babies bond with their caregivers,” Spock explained. “As she gets older she will of all certainty find us whether or not she is aware she is looking. Her destiny and ours will intersect. We will see her again.”

I smiled at Spock before I pulled out my communicator and said, “Scotty two to beam up.”

The transporter beam surrounded us and we were back aboard the Enterprise. I returned to my quarters while Spock was summoned to medical bay. When Spock returned to my quarters he explained, “I have been declared fit for duty.”

I threw my arms around him and lifted him off the floor. After how long it had been Spock would finally be back on the bridge. I headed back to the bridge while Spock prepared for his shift. I was in the Captain’s chair when the doors to the turbolift opened.

Chekov announced, “First Officer on the bridge.”

Everyone stood up and looked at Spock with a look of reverence. Spock approached me and explained, “Reporting for duty, Captain.”

I got misty eyed just at the sight of Spock in uniform and back on the bridge after everything that had happened. “Take your position,” I replied.

Spock took his chair at his science console. With our time on Earth over and our mission ahead of us I looked at Sulu and said, “Mr. Sulu, warp factor two.”

“Aye aye sir, warp factor two.”


End file.
